Jesus Works on Gail’s Negative Self-Image (Actual Words from Jesus)

(1-6-21 Gail’s email to her men) Dear men: 

Though I appreciate how much better my diarrhea is, I am feeling stressed out by all the changes all at once and this feeling that no matter what I do, I’m going to mess up. I couldn’t sleep last night until about 3:30 a.m.and lay in bed crying and feeling like a failure, even though I went to bed at 8:30 and lay in bed feeling out of control and a failure. I spent an hour crying in bed, cuz I feel like an utter failure and that it’s impossible for me to overcome so many weaknesses that I am suddenly aware of. Realizing that I have failed in so many areas to do the Gail Commandments makes me depressed, cuz in some ways I thought I was doing them. Now I feel like I will always fail in the Gail Commandments and that all this overregulation is a condemnation of my INFP temperament, which I can’t seem to help, cuz it’s who I am. I also feel guilty about having that huge television set on my Amazon wish list and some of the other items, which seem like luxury items to me and possibly difficult to move. 

I haven’t heard back from Susan yet and feel super guilty that I made her feel like she did. Though I will do my best to implement all the changes, I’m feeling like no matter what I do, I will end up making Jesus angry at me one way or another. He is starting to seem like my mother to me, cuz she would lay down all these rules and regulations and then seem to change her mind about them and then I’d get in trouble cuz I misunderstood her and didn’t do what she wanted. Then she’d scream at me and tell me I’m a selfish no good girl and I’m starting to feel like a selfish no good girl cuz it’s my fault I Iost Susan’s friendship and I misunderstood her kindness and because she did not clearly communicate with me that I was doing stuff that bothered her and, apparently, lied to me about how she really felt about some stuff and I am just feeling like I am being punished for misunderstanding people and losing friendships because I didn’t get the hints people were dropping at me.  

It’s this feeling of the delayed bomb, where you’re doing stuff that irritates people, but they don’t tell you about it and when they finally do, you realize that you have been displeasing them all along and that perhaps there are other matters you are doing that are displeasing them and that no matter what you do, you will always displease them, and now I live in mortal fear that my whole life is displeasing to them and to Jesus. 

On the other hand, I am grateful for the benefits of these changes, but feel like a failure, nevertheless and that my suffering is caused by my own weaknesses, some of which I may not be aware of and that I’m afraid I may not be able to overcome easily. 

Realizing that a lot of my medical problems are possibly a form of PTSD, I’m feeling like I need more time to make all these changes and don’t want to feel so nervous about what I eat and do in all my lifestyle. is not working and keeps crashing. so I’m forced to do my food diary just by writing it down now. Also, Jesus said when my men make suggestions, lt’s like it’s coming from him. But I’m getting so many suggestions and I know Jesus wants me in bed by 9 p.m.and I feel like I’m being pressured to get more done each day and yet I feel like having to do everything suggested is impossible in 24 hours. Jesus is just reminding me too much of my mother right now and I’m stressed out to the point that it affects my sleep. 

I am an INFP and INFPs hate feeling overregulated and I’m feeling very overregulated right now. I also feel like, as I look over my life, that I’ve failed in so many areas, I feel like a failure and that I’m a big disappointment to the people who genuinely care about me and this feeling is making me feel like an alcoholic who has snuck too many drinks but can’t help myself and that I’m on a failure treadmill, which makes me sort of really sympathize with people like Kristofer Foster, even though I’ve never been drunk a day in my life. 

I will see if I can go back to sleep. but I feel like I need a vacation from Jesus and I feel as guilty as hell for feeling this way. 

Also, bringing up Loree McBride and her opinion of me as a wimp cuz I can’t take life’s normal stresses seems a bit unfair, since I have so little respect for her, it’s like why should I care what that bitch thinks? Like do I need to spend my life stressing over other people’s opinions of me, especially people who are such hypocrites and fakes like Loree. It’s like it’s a sin for me to be an authentic and genuine person and that I’m not allowed to make mistakes.



Skype between Gail, Zack Knight and Jesus on Jan. 6, 2021. Jesus Christ’s words are in quotes, usually.

Zack, 12:04 PM Hi Gail. I just read your letter. I’m really upset. We all love you very much.

Zack, 12:16 PM You know… I can’t really speak for Jesus, but I have gotten to know him pretty well recently. And I know that he can’t be like your mother.

Gail, 12:16 PM I’m busy throwing out stuff right now. I know he’s not like my mother. But you gotta remember how I was raised. We’re all influenced by that.

Zack, 12:17 PM Me too I didn’t have a good relationship with my mother either

Gail, 12:18 PM She always made me feel like a failure.

Zack, 12:18 PM It’s amazing how it messes with stuff way out into life You aren’t. You are a survivor. You escaped the worst kind of bad relationship

Gail, 12:20 PM Because of that, I was so shy growing up, that I’d be scared to say anything in school for fear of saying anything wrong. So I’d sit in a classroom all day and not say a word. Cuz of that I almost failed first grade.

Zack, 12:20 PM The reason I say that Jesus can’t be like your mother is that your mother challenged you because she wanted to tear you down. And if you look at what Jesus has been doing, he is refining gold.

Gail, 12:22 PM Thanks, that makes me feel better. Cuz lately I’ve felt like garbage.

Zack, 12:22 PM You’re like this very valueable gold that came from a dirty and oppressive dark mineshaft Jesus removed you from it, and began the process of refining you

Gail, 12:22 PM I feel like all those horrible things my mother told me about myself is true, that I am a selfish, no good girl.

Zack, 12:23 PM Every time, it’s been uncomfortable, but each time you’ve improved… not to be better than you are… but to become more what you are. You are not a selfish, no good girl. You mom was jealous and threatened by you. Everything she said was her own internal feelings about herself.

Gail, 12:25 PM I can’t imagine she’d be so jealous of me. I was an ugly girl with legs so skinny, I looked like I had polio.

Zack, 12:25 PM That’s not true That’s absolutely untrue.

Gail, 12:26 PM Did you ever see pictures of me growing up? My legs looked like sticks!

Zack, 12:26 PM Trust me, as a guy… me and every other guy I’ve seriously talked to about you growing up have said you had long sexy legs

Gail, 12:26 PM My father has those pictures. Not when I was a kid!

Zack, 12:27 PM We should honor those pictures. Those are the legs of a pure gold woman. You know why I know that when your mom said those horrible things to you, that she was speaking to her own failures?

Gail, 12:28 PM That’s probably true, but her words were said so often they are etched into my subconscious.

Zack, 12:29 PM Could you have ever, in a million years… Told those things to Erich?

Gail, 12:29 PM You guys can believe those polio legs were attractive, but I’ll never believe it. No, I tried to treat Erich with the respect I never got.

Zack, 12:30 PM Could little Erich have ever had a bodily defect so bad that you would hsve berated him for it?

Gail, 12:30 PM Never. He was a cute little guy. I’d never do that to him.

Zack, 12:30 PM But did you do it to spite your mother, or because it would be so unnatural for you to want to be that way?

Gail, 12:31 PM Huh? Do what to spite my mother?

Zack, 12:31 PM I’m saying. It’s not even that you treated him good to not be like your mother

Gail, 12:32 PM I was adamant in giving him freedom to be himself, cuz as an INFP, that’s something I’m passionate about.

Zack, 12:32 PM You never would have thought it was an option to abuse your kid that way, if not for your mother. You love him.

Gail, 12:32 PM The idea to abuse Erich never crossed my mind. He was such a cute little button.

Zack, 12:33 PM It would be the most unnatural thing in the world if you wanted to hurt him. If he had scrawny legs, your first impulse woukd be to protect him.

Gail, 12:33 PM But I wasn’t a cute kid. My mom hates my INFP personality and it appears lately that Jesus is not too cool with it, either.

Zack, 12:33 PM Gail… think about it. If Erich wasn’t a cute kid, would you have treated him with any less care and love? Would you try to tear him down?

Gail, 12:35 PM You know, probably not. But I think my personality irritated my mom cuz it reminded her of someone she didn’t like or something.

Zack, 12:35 PM There you go…

Gail, 12:35 PM I seem to have an uncharming personality. When I’m TRULY myself and not putting on airs, which depresses me.

Zack, 12:35 PM She saw a good little girl, with so much promise… and she hated herself.

Gail, 12:35 PM It’s like if I’m truly myself, people hate me.

Zack, 12:36 PM No Gail.

Gail, 12:36 PM My mom used to say that everybody hates you, Gail.

Zack, 12:36 PM We know you We love you when you are yourself

Gail, 12:36 PM I’m too deep and serious to be charming and cool and people don’t like it.

Zack, 12:36 PM That letter you sent is the most Raw Gail I’ve seen. You are this thoughtful woman

Gail, 12:37 PM People hate my INFP personality because it’s so different from them and they don’t understand it.

Zack, 12:37 PM Gail… I don’t think you should even focus on the INFP thing. It’s not you…You are Gail

Gail, 12:38 PM Really?

Zack, 12:38 PM You are uniquely you

Gail, 12:38 PM But a lot of it is true about me.

Zack, 12:38 PM There are only 16 personality types, but only one you.

Gail, 12:39 PM It’s true that I have evolved in my own way and am a lot less INFP than in my childhood.

Zack, 12:39 PM No, you are absolutely uniquely you And you are great You have always been We always grow and change. Because we’re alive. You are extremely valuable and unique.

Gail, 12:41 PM Just curious, when Jesus was an old shoe, what kind of shoe was he?

Zack, 12:42 PM A baby shoe. Like, one you buy a newborn.

Gail, 12:42 PM I wonder what that’s supposed to mean? But it was an old shoe?

Zack, 12:42 PM But like it had been saved as a keepsake. Oh my…I get it. Holy shit, that’s deep He asked how many shoes have you bought recently. And he appeared as your first baby shoes. He was saying that as you’ve grown, you’ve tried to fit into these different versions of “you” And that you’re always like the cute little button to him… the way you always see Erich with that unconditional love.

Gail, 12:46 PM Are you sure that’s what he meant? So he wasn’t trying to tell me to throw out my old shoes?

Zack, 12:47 PM This is a surprise! Jesus just showed up as himself! He usually shows up in a special form It’s just him. Barefoot and holding something. The only thing is, his feet are beautiful! I never noticed

Gail, 12:52 PM You’ve never seen his feet before?

Zack, 12:52 PM No, I never noticed them at least Oh my God…

Gail, 12:52 PM My feet are ugly. They have big bunions.

Zack, 12:53 PM I see him kneeling down in front of you. Are you here?

Gail, 12:53 PM How could I be there?

Zack, 12:53 PM He’s washing your feet!

Gail, 12:54 PM I don’t deserve this Jesus, I’m a dirty, rotten sinner.

Zack, 12:54 PM He revealed what was in his hand It’s a perfect looking gold ring

Gail, 12:55 PM What does that mean? I’m always messing up and disobeying Jesus. My mother’s right. I can’t do anything right.

Jesus Christ, 12:57 PM Jesus just said, “This gold ring was pulled from a dark and oppressive mineshaft. I saw its value while the rocks around it told it that it was worthless, selfish, ugly. But I always saw what it is.” “It was always it’s true self, pure gold.”

Gail, 1:00 PM Jesus, I’m having a hard time believing I’m gold. But I appreciate your love for me. I’m so scared I’m going to be a major let down to you.

Jesus Christ, 1:02 PM Could Erich ever be a letdown to you?

Gail, 1:02 PM Not as long as he’s true to himself and honors true love.

Jesus Christ, 1:03 PM “I think you understand how I feel about you then.”

Gail, 1:04 PM I’m a little confused about how to be true to myself, though. It seems that the more I try to be myself, the more I get into trouble.

Jesus Christ, 1:05 PM “All your life, you have been trying to fit into different shoes. The perfect charming girl, the perfect church wife, an INFP. How many pairs of shoes have you bought recently?”

Gail, 1:05 PM How deep.

Jesus Christ, 1:06 PM “You have beautiful feet.”

Gail, 1:06 PM So who am I, Lord? I’m not even sure I know who I am.

Jesus Christ, 1:06 PM “You are Gail.”

Gail, 1:07 PM And what does this all have to do with obeying the Gail Commandments?

Jesus Christ, 1:07 PM “My favorite person in the whole world, you are you. Why be anyone else?”

Gail, 1:08 PM The only person who gave me the courage to be myself was Brent Spiner. Sometimes I feel a little confused. . . sometimes I’m not sure who I am. Sometimes I’m scared to find out.

Jesus Christ, 1:09 PM “You can rest assured. I know who you are, and she’s awesome.” “She is nothing like what her mother said.”

Gail, 1:10 PM Why am I awesome?

Jesus Christ, 1:10 PM “Because I made you that way”

Gail, 1:10 PM Why did you make me this way? Why couldn’t you make everyone awesome, like even Satan? Actually, he was awesome for a while there, wasn’t he? I feel like I deserve no special privileges.

Jesus Christ, 1:12 PM “Romans 9:20-23”

Gail, 1:15 PM That’s pretty deep. Well, I’ll try not to mess up your Grand Plan. I sure make a lot of mistakes, though. It’s hard to break year long habits. It’s almost like overcoming an addiction.

Jesus Christ, 1:18 PM “The most important thing is that you know that everything your mother said about you being less than her beloved daughter was untrue.” “You have the special insight to part of my heart. Your love for Erich lets you understand. Even when he did something wrong, it didn’t change who he is, or his value. And there was never a need for him to be anything else, or be somebody else.”

Gail, 1:22 PM Because I have that special insight to part of your heart and know how awesome you are, that’s why it’s hurts so much when I let such an awesome being down.

Jesus Christ, 1:22 PM “You asked why are you awesome. And you asked who you are. How would you answer Erich if he asked you the same questions?

Gail, 1:23 PM I would never tell Erich that I thought I was awesome, cuz I’m not stuck on myself. But I would say that the people I consider awesome are those who have the courage to be real, to admit their faults, and to honor the vastness they have inside of themselves. We should never betray that vastness inside of us for sorry motives like greed, a lust for power or to be jealous and competitive. And that if others also have vastness, we should nurture it and encourage it.

Jesus Christ, 1:26 PM “No… that he is awesome” “If he asked you why you say he is awesome”

Gail, 1:27 PM I would say he’s awesome because he’s so accepting of people who are different from him and has such a loving and forgiving heart.

Jesus Christ, 1:28 PM “And if he asked, ‘Who am I’?”

Gail, 1:29 PM I would say you are a free spirit, looking for adventures in love and wanting to make the world a place filled with tolerance, understanding, peace and love. You embrace the authenticity in yourself and others and find differences between people exciting and awesome. He likes to express his own unique identity and consciousness and likes to feel that he’s making the world a better place. He’s into freedom of expression done with respect for the rights of others, and believes in giving people their own space to grow and be the maximum of who they are meant to be. I feel like I’ve really violated that last part lately and hate myself for it. It’s just that I’ve tried to do what my men suggested and think I misunderstood them. I feel like it’s my own fault that I misunderstood them, that this happened because I’m bad.

Jesus Christ, 1:38 PM “I love your answer for Erich.”

Gail, 1:39 PM Well, this has been helpful for me to perhaps see myself more accurately.

Jesus Christ, 1:39 PM “It reveals so many of your qualities, doesn’t it?”

Gail, 1:39 PM Well, he has my genes.

Jesus Christ, 1:39 PM “He has your heart.”

Gail, 1:40 PM Yeah, pretty much. And he seems more true to himself than I am true to myself. He definitely seems more like me than he’s like his dad. I miss the days when we were close. He blocks me at Twitter.

Jesus Christ, 1:41 PM “And you seem more like me than you are your mom.”

Gail, 1:41 PM Did you just do an autocorrect on Zack’s quote? That was neat.

Jesus Christ, 1:42 PM “Yeah. He’s typing for me directly. It’s new for him. I have to train his body to not make as many typing mistakes.” “Brent is a more natural writer.”

Gail, 1:44 PM I thought you’d only let Brent do this! Zack has become one of your favorites now.

Jesus Christ, 1:45 PM “I really hope you understand that you are this gold ring.”

Gail, 1:46 PM It doesn’t seem possible that I could come anywhere near you in virtue or as a being.

Jesus Christ, 1:46 PM “This wedding ring, made of pure gold. Refined and crafted by God.”

Gail, 1:46 PM But I think I understand many of the longings of your heart. Which is why I get so disappointed when I let you down all the time.

Jesus Christ, 1:47 PM “Has Erich ever let you down?” “Answer honestly”

Gail, 1:49 PM I make allowances for the times when he has and understand that he has a beautiful heart and is growing and really wants to do right deep down underneath. Also, one time when he called me in 2004 and scolded me for not being willing to live with David during the hurricanes, I think that was his look alike and not him.

Jesus Christ, 1:50 PM “Did any of his mistakes, or when he acted badly… Did anything ever change his value? Or change who he is? Or your love for him?”

Gail, 1:53 PM I’ll be honest, if he became a criminal like my sister, I’d be very ashamed of him and would want him to get the full justice of the law. But he really has a beautiful heart and, for that reason, even when he makes mistakes, I always see that heart and know that he’s really trying to be good, and so he always seem valuable to me, because his heart is so good. But my heart is not always so good!

Jesus Christ, 1:53 PM “Your heart is pure gold.”

Gail, 1:53 PM My mother corrupted my heart. She rubbed off on me. Her evil materialism has infected me.

Jesus Christ, 1:54 PM “You are nothing like her” “I want the best for you. And I know how I made you.”

Gail, 1:55 PM I know you want the best for me, but sometimes I feel like I can’t do what you want because I’m too inferior.

Jesus Christ, 1:56 PM “You are human.” “Could Erich have ever grown into a good man if he never made any mistakes, never learned from mistakes or grew? If he never had to struggle and experience hardship?”

Gail, 1:58 PM But I make more mistakes than your favorite should make! Like I think about all the mistakes I make and that you’ve been quiet about and I wonder what other mistakes I make and how you could call me your favorite.

Jesus Christ with Zack typing, 1:59 PM “LOL” Jesus laughed really loud “Oh Gail. I love you!” “You’re awesome.”

Gail, 2:00 PM Now, I feel like my life is a ticking time bomb and it’s only a matter of time before I learn about 100 other mistakes I’m making.

Jesus Christ, 2:01 PM “Try to imagine how you would feel if little Erich said this to you.”

Gail, 2:01 PM I’d laugh my head off.

Jesus Christ, 2:02 PM “I can tell you that you will keep making mistakes your whole life. And you will keep improving your whole life.”

Gail, 2:03 PM So you think I’m over stressing about my mistakes?

Jesus Christ, 2:03 PM “What’s important is that you are always you. And that these improvements are just you being truer to yourself and the heart I gave you.” “You know what a crucible is?”

Gail, 2:04 PM Sort of. But isn’t clutter part of who I am?

Jesus Christ, 2:05 PM “It’s a special cup used to refine precious metals.”

Gail, 2:05 PM It shows my free spirit. I got to admit that it would be nice to have less clutter, though.

Jesus Christ, 2:06 PM “You place the raw metal into the cup, and heat it up.” “The metal melts down, and the impurities and junk stuck to the precious metal seperate off”

Gail, 2:07 PM I’m really stressed out about your rule to not eat anything one hour before bedtime and then for the rest of the night. What if I can’t sleep because of hunger pangs? I’ve had a bedtime snack for like the past 40 years!

Jesus Christ, 2:08 PM “The refiner removes the impurities, and lets the pure metal cool down”

Gail, 2:09 PM Am I supposed to lay in bed and count sheep?

Jesus Christ, 2:09 PM “I saw that you were ready for the crucible. Ready to start letting go of the junk you’ve carried with you.”

Gail, 2:09 PM Will I call down the wrath of God if I go eat a cracker?

Jesus Christ, 2:10 PM “Do you find it interesting at all that these new changes brought up the old pain and baggage of your trauma with your mother?”

Gail, 2:11 PM Yeah, it appears I ate as a form of comfort food. But I’m addicted to my comfort food!

Jesus Christ, 2:11 PM “You are feeling the effects of a crucible.”

Gail, 2:12 PM It’s like smokers are addicted to smoking and alcoholics are addicted to alcohol. Though I don’t think my comfort food is quite as unhealthy as smoking or alcoholism.

Jesus Christ, 2:12 PM “Do you want an addiction to be mixed into the gold ring when it’s time to cast it for your husband?”

Gail, 2:13 PM To cast what for my husband?

Jesus Christ, 2:14 PM “To cast you, the beautiful pure gold” “None of the bad things you have associated with yourself are you.”

Gail, 2:15 PM So you’re saying that when I learn to see myself as that gold ring, that I’ll overcome my comfort food addiction.

Jesus Christ, 2:15 PM “You’re right. Eating a cracker at bedtime isn’t a problem by itself.” “But always seeing bad things in yourself. Trying to self comfort and self medicate. Filling your life with clutter. It’s not actually you.”

Gail, 2:17 PM I feel guilty about that lavish television set you have on my wish list. I feel like it makes me appear materialistic. Why do I hold onto things, Lord?

Jesus Christ, 2:18 PM “You are a free spirit. But even the most free spirited person in the world shouldn’t live in clutter.” “Because you are afraid of losing things. Afraid to let go.”

Gail, 2:20 PM I always worry I will lose what I care about. My mother always threatened to throw me on the streets. I always felt disposable.

Jesus Christ, 2:20 PM “I want you to have a few very nice things. Not an accumulation of thousands of disposable things.”

Gail, 2:20 PM I never believed a man would truly love the real me and that if he ever knew who I really was, he’d LEAVE. That’s why I tried to be perfect. My father left my mother and my mother always said men are like that.

Jesus Christ, 2:21 PM “I’m giving you a hug right now.” “Your mother was wrong.”

Gail, 2:22 PM So I felt I had to be perfect to ensure I could keep the man. Yeah, it’s hard to unlearn all the garbage she drummed into me. Brent is the first guy I was truly myself with and to my amazement, he seemed to love the REAL ME. But I have this fear that when he lives with me, he may change his mind!

Jesus Christ, 2:24 PM “That’s insane.” “You need to understand this.” “Any good man would treasure you.”

Gail, 2:25 PM That’s true. I lived with my step dad and he seemed to like me. I miss my step dad. He was cool.

Jesus Christ, 2:26 PM “I love hanging out with your step dad.” “He is cool.”

Gail, 2:27 PM What is my real father like? My mother calls him a cold, selfish man and I often feel like I may be a lot like him.

Jesus Christ, 2:28 PM “Brent may not like to hear this. But there is a world full of good men. You could actually be happy with any one of them, and they would all adore you as a wife.”

Gail, 2:28 PM But Brent is such a big person. That’s why he allows the marriage list.

Jesus Christ, 2:29 PM “Your father is a good man. Your mother was pretty venomous and toxic. She drove him away, and then spoke badly of him and tried to make you feel worthless.”

Gail, 2:30 PM So you think most of my current physical ailments are psychosomatic or the result of disobeying the Gail Commandments? That’s means a lot to know my father was a good man. She always said I was just like him and it doesn’t appear good that his first wife died homeless living in a car, according to my mother.

Jesus Christ, 2:31 PM “A lot of what your mother told you is untrue.” “I’ll let you in on an interesting truth.” “You’re right about Brent’s big heart.” “He allows the marriage list because he knows you have a need for closeness with your men.”

Gail, 2:33 PM keeps crashing. Can I just keep a food diary and write out what I’m eating now and ignore

Jesus Christ, 2:34 PM “Of course. Use whatever works and is easy. I want you to just have fun being your creative brilliant food genius self.” “Are you ready to hear a new revelation?”

Gail, 2:35 PM Sure.

Jesus Christ, 2:37 PM “If you ever met a man in your daily life that you found to be good to you and loved you for who you are, and you wanted him. Not me or Brent would object. You could pursue it without hurting things with Brent or my plan.”

Gail, 2:37 PM No! My heart is set on Brent!

Jesus Christ, 2:38 PM “I know!”

Gail, 2:38 PM To me, it’s Brent or BUST. I’d rather be single the rest of my life than to choose anyone other than Brent.

Jesus Christ, 2:38 PM “I’m telling you that it’s not that Brent was the only man who could love you.”

Gail, 2:39 PM He’s special. He was the one who made me realize I could be loved totally for who I really am.

Jesus Christ, 2:39 PM “I think you understand. You should be loved for who you are.”

Gail, 2:40 PM But if I married another man, I couldn’t marry Brent!

Jesus Christ, 2:40 PM “That’s not technically true.”

Gail, 2:41 PM I’m not looking! That marriage list was NEVER my idea.

Jesus Christ, 2:41 PM “Yes, I know you aren’t”

Gail, 2:42 PM That would be like telling Rule 13 that she could marry someone besides Zack Knight. You know how she’d react to that.

Jesus Christ, 2:42 PM “You really are awesome.”

Gail, 2:43 PM Oh, you mean cuz I’m so loyal to my true love?

Jesus Christ, 2:43 PM “You made Zack smile.”

Gail, 2:44 PM Zack has turned super cool. I think he really loves me, but Rule 13 is definitely his NUMBER ONE. I would never want to get between them.

Zack, 2:45 PM I know what you’re saying Gail – Zack It’s like how Terrance wasn’t getting in between me and Rule 13 – Zack I might be mistaken, but I think that’s why Jesus allows the marriage list. So we can be there for each other even when you are devoted to your love. – Zack

Gail, 2:48 PM Rule 13 may have been turned on by Satan in that courtroom, but it was just a fling with her. Her deep, true feelings are with you, Zack. I see.

Zack, 2:49 PM I think that’s what Jesus was saying. That you could have a fling with a man that has a good heart and it would be okay. – Zack

Gail, 2:49 PM I would hate myself for having a fling with any man. To me, sex is marriage. I don’t consider brain to brain loving as sex.

Zack, 2:50 PM Yeah, I think Jesus always respects your position on that. But is probably less rigid than you think. – Zack

Gail, 2:51 PM Well, you have to understand that my mother trained me to believe that my father was a womanizer, so I have this big thing about being loyal in sex. And she always said I was just like him.

Jesus Christ, 2:52 PM “Do you notice that you keep coming back to lies your mother traumatized you with?”

Gail, 2:53 PM Yeah, it’s hard to overcome all that conditioning.

Jesus Christ, 2:54 PM “It’s really healthy that you are now able to face these things. You keep leveling up!” “I knew you were ready!” “Your father is a good man.” “You are a good woman.”

Gail, 2:55 PM I feel really guity over what I did to Susan and feel partly responsible that Kristofer Foster has returned to alcoholism, Maybe if he didn’t get raped by Urethra for being my patron, he would have been okay.

Jesus Christ, 2:55 PM “You have helped Susan and Kristofer more than you know.”

Gail, 2:56 PM What do you think of that web page I created today that they have to use a password to access? I did that to help them. If it helps them it will help alleviate the guilt I feel over them. I want them to hear my daily blog videos for free.

Jesus Christ, 2:57 PM “You did such a kind thing by giving them that.”

Gail, 2:58 PM I know Kristofer is really poor and he seems to have such a good heart. I want to help him.

Jesus Christ, 2:58 PM “Your friendship is so valuable. Susan is still trying to compose herself because she’s so happy to hear from you.”

Gail, 2:59 PM I think he struggles with self-image issues, too. So I can really relate. Alcohol is his comfort food.

Jesus Christ, 3:00 PM “You are a light in Kristofer’s world. He will beat his addiction because of your example.”

Gail, 3:00 PM Oh, that made my day! Now I feel so much better. Part of the reason I cried so much last night in bed is cuz I feel like all I do is bring suffering into the world.

Jesus Christ, 3:01 PM “That was a lie from Satan.” “You only need to be yourself.” “You asked me earlier what all of this has to do with Gail Commandments.” “Are you ready for the answer?”

Gail, 3:03 PM Of course.

Jesus Christ, 3:03 PM “Absolutely nothing.” “The Gail Commandments are just self-care instructions that I have you to be a good steward of yourself.” “You see, you had been taught to believe you weren’t worth living well. That there was something wrong that needed fixing.” “And as a result, you didn’t really care for yourself the way you should be cared for.”

Gail, 3:06 PM That all makes sense.

Jesus Christ, 3:08 PM “The reason the Gail Commandments, cleaning clutter, discarding things, taking care of yourself, and seeing a wish list of too-nice things has brought up all these memories and feelings is…” “You feel like this is too good for you.”

Gail, 3:09 PM Also, when Jesuits or evil people atack my supporters I feel like I’m partly to blame that everyone pays such a price for supporting me and that I’m not worth all this. I hate to see the suffering people go through for loving and supporting me, just cuz Jesuits attack them.

Jesus Christ, 3:09 PM “Yes, it’s natural to feel uncomfortable changing habits too. But think about why the cheapest 50 inch TV on amazon makes you feel undeserving…” “You hear your mom’s voice telling you lies.”

Gail, 3:10 PM Jesus, that television worth about two hundred dollars- that money could be given to help the poor! How many people in the world can’t even eat and I get a fancy television set?!

Jesus Christ, 3:10 PM “LOL”

Gail, 3:12 PM Even Susan with her income, does volunteer work with Meals on Wheels. She’s a better person than me.

Jesus Christ, 3:12 PM

“Isn’t this such a nice song?”

Gail, 3:14 PM Did you or Zack post that song? I love the music from Jesus Christ Superstar. That Andrew Lloyd Weber is a genius.

Jesus Christ, 3:15 PM “I posted it. What happens in this song?”

Gail, 3:20 PM Satan in the form of Judas Iscariot condemns Mary for wasting expensive ointment to anoint Jesus for his burial. But a television set is a satanic electronics object and sends the wrong message to people that we worship electronics and gadgets. Satan invented electricity. In my twenties I felt that watching television was sinful. And now with all the lies in the news media, I’m starting to go back to that. Though it would be nice to have a large screen to watch my DVDs. But I still have a hang up about electronics and sending the wrong message to people by having that on my wishlist.

Jesus Christ, 3:24 PM “Here is the problem. You have spent many many times more than this on things you didn’t need.” “Anything I intend for good is good, even if Satan intends it for evil.” “People use the internet for evil, but I have you posting regularly on YouTube.”

Gail, 3:26 PM Kind of like how you allowed Zack to be Antichrist and now it’s turned out for good.

Jesus Christ, 3:27 PM “Your aversion to having a clean, minimalistic house with a few very nice things is only because deep down, you feel like you don’t deserve it.” “You feel like you deserve a lot of low quality things. So you live with plastic furniture and cardboard boxes, and lots of clutter. And don’t hesitate to spend money on it.” “This isn’t to shame you… I want you to see how you are too valuable to keep living like this.”

Gail, 3:29 PM You’re helping me understand how to declutter my place better now.

Jesus Christ, 3:31 PM “I have given Zack a vision for how your apartment can be. It would make it very easy to live happily and be a free spirit. Where you don’t need to spend all day doing Gail Commandments.” “An apartment where everything is in its proper place. And when you are ready to move, it will be easy to pack up and go.” “A life where you will be happier and freer.”

Gail, 3:33 PM Okay. I’ll try to get rid of stuff that I don’t use or food that’s expired or shoes I never wear. It will take some time cuz I’ve been here since 2004 and accumulated a lot of stuff and have to go down 3 flights of stairs to the dumpster.

Jesus Christ, 3:34 PM “Imagine how hard it would have been, to move that all to a new place.”

Gail, 3:35 PM I also want to conserve on garbage bags, so I try to fill them up each day to save money on garbage bags. Yes, I figured you may be preparing me for a move, too. How much time do you want me to spend each day decluttering?

Jesus Christ, 3:37 PM “I don’t want you to stress over it. But I do want you to be active about it.”

Gail, 3:37 PM How have I done today?

Jesus Christ, 3:38 PM “Your heart is in the right place. And I think you deserve the rest of the day off.”

Gail, 3:38 PM Zack is typing with periods at ends of sentences. Have you totally taken over his hands for this, like you do Brent? What about vacuuming today? It’s been about a week.

Zack, 3:39 PM This is Zack It’s really weird, as he types through me

Gail, 3:39 PM That’s so interesting.

Zack and Jesus Christ in quotes, 3:40 PM Yeah, the more I let go, the more it feels like he is just typing. “You should take the rest of the day to just relax and do whatever you feel like doing. This is my ultimate goal with the Gail Commandments. That you treat yourself the way I would have others treat you.”

Gail, 3:43 PM This has been really helpful. I felt like I was in a deep emotional hole.

Jesus Christ, 3:43 PM “I like to call it the crucible.” “It can be hard to be melted down and forced to face the garbage that was stuck to our lives. Especially when you were made to believe it was part of you.”

Gail, 3:45 PM I’m happiest when I do stuff that is humanitarian and helps people be happier and more free. That’s what I like to do with my free time when I follow my heart.

Jesus Christ, 3:45 PM “You believed you were the things your mother said, and as you begin to face the truth, you almost don’t want to give up your old beliefs.”

Gail, 3:46 PM Which truth did I face?

Jesus Christ, 3:46 PM “The idea that part of you is a selfish little girl is hard to let go of.” “That you aren’t what your mother said.” “It’s some of the clutter in your life. Something you need to throw away in order to purify the Gold that is who you really are.” “Keeping these worthless things and false beliefs can actually feel safe and comforting. I understand this because I felt it when I lived life as a human.”

Gail, 3:49 PM This sort of reminds me of the movie Good Will Hunting with Matt Damon and Robin Williams and I am a lot llike the Matt Damon character.

Jesus Christ, 3:50 PM “I grew up in a town where people assumed my mom was an adulteress.”

Gail, 3:50 PM YOU felt worthless?! But you’re GOD.

Jesus Christ, 3:51 PM “Yes. Part of me coming to earth was to feel just like you.”

Gail, 3:51 PM You thought about me back THEN?

Jesus Christ, 3:52 PM “I thought about you even when I was on the cross.”

Gail, 3:52 PM But then you thought about all of humanity on the cross!

Jesus Christ, 3:53 PM “I could see everything you ever would do, and every thought. I especially thought about you.”

Gail, 3:53 PM You are capable of thinking about millions of people at once.

Jesus Christ, 3:53 PM “But you were the one that helped me get through it.”

Gail, 3:54 PM Is this cuz of the significant roles that I will play for the tribulation and millennial saints? My God, I’m honored! You will use my life story to help prevent more millennial saints from defecting to Satan at the end of the 1000 year reign, right?

Jesus Christ, 3:55 PM “It’s because you are you. My favorite.”

Gail, 3:55 PM Or I should say millennial humans.

Jesus Christ, 3:56 PM “It really is just that I love you for who you are.”

Gail, 3:57 PM I think your disciples should be your favorites, like Peter was crucified upside down for you and the rest, with the possible exception of John, died as martyrs.

Jesus Christ, 3:57 PM “I’m so moved that you were able to open up about how you feel. That’s why I just opened up to you.”

Gail, 3:57 PM About how I feel about you, you mean and that I feel you are too awesome for me? That I don’t deserve you.

Jesus Christ, 3:58 PM “That’s only because you’re still learning who you are.”

Gail, 3:58 PM I don’t think I could take being crucified upside down without complaining like a storm. And going on a big pity party.

Jesus Christ, 3:59 PM “I’ll admit. You sure would complain like a storm. Lol”

Gail, 3:59 PM Peter is better than me. Even if he did deny you. I’m not very good with bodily discomforts.

Jesus Christ, 4:00 PM “Peter was a stoic guy, and yes. He denied me. But do you think that changed how I loved him, and who he was to me?”

Gail, 4:00 PM Of course not! You knew he would go on to do great things for you.

Jesus Christ, 4:02 PM “Even if he never did go on to do great things for me, it wouldn’t have changed things for me.” “That’s called unconditional love. And it’s what I have for you too.”

Gail, 4:02 PM That means you must deeply love Satan then, since you and Lucifer had millions of years together.

Jesus Christ, 4:03 PM “Yes, but he may not be redeemable.” “I still give him every chance.”

Gail, 4:04 PM That’s pretty awful to be God the Father’s image bearer and then to be such an ingrate.

Jesus Christ, 4:04 PM “Yeah, he’s a real ass.” “I’m really excited about you.”

Gail, 4:05 PM That’s what happens when you’re too perfect and it gets to your head. I noticed that God the Father showed up at the Satan appearance. That’s really interesting.

Jesus Christ, 4:06 PM “Yeah, Dad does that sometimes.”

Gail, 4:06 PM Well, it’s not like Satan didn’t cause a lot of problems on earth. I mean he just about killed off the whole planet. This would concern God the Father.

Jesus Christ, 4:06 PM “I’m sorry I made you feel like I was being like your mom.” “I feel like you feel about Susan. I don’t want miscommunications and unspoken feelings to get between us.”

Gail, 4:08 PM You allowed this to happen so you could have this conversation with me today. Will there still be a follow-up to see how I’m doing with the Gail Commandments in around a week? It must be tough to care so much for someone and have to be patient while you watch them destroy themselves. But then you do that for everyone.

Jesus Christ, 4:09 PM “This is the follow up. I’ll periodically check in. But I do want you to go at your own pace. As long as you’re being committed to making these improvements.”

Gail, 4:10 PM Wow. You’re really awesome. The do over is more on the inside than it is just about clutter in my apartment.

Jesus Christ, 4:11 PM “I want you to be aware of apathy and putting off things. You might notice how it can destroy a whole day, just sitting there worrying about the whole job.”

Gail, 4:11 PM You are trying to heal some deep emotional wounds and doing surgery of sorts on my heart.

Jesus Christ, 4:11 PM “Oh, make no mistake, this is an inside and outside job! I want you to live in a really awesome living space.”

Gail, 4:11 PM Worrying about the whole job?

Jesus Christ, 4:12 PM “And I want your heart to be free of the clutter too!”

Gail, 4:13 PM Can I ask you a deep question? Why did you create humans? I mean you had the angels for companionship before you created humans, right? I think you worked with God the Father in the creation.

Jesus Christ, 4:14 PM “By the whole job, I mean, it’s easy to get overwhelmed by all the work ahead of you. And sometimes it makes you just stop and do nothing. I’d rather you pick something easy to fix, do it quick, and go on for the day loving life than to spend all day stressing about your tasks.”

Gail, 4:15 PM If I know why you created man, I may be more motivated as I serve you. Cuz I am one of the humans you created and am your favorite. Sometimes I feel like we humans are so so unworthy of you.

Jesus Christ, 4:15 PM “Yes, but none of those angels can relate to me.”

Gail, 4:16 PM That’s why the Bible says man was created in God’s image, right?

Jesus Christ, 4:16 PM “When I asked you how you feel about Erich. How you view him, and love him.”

Gail, 4:16 PM It doesn’t say that about the angels.

Jesus Christ, 4:17 PM “Yes, you are made in my image. You are close to my heart.” “What does the Bible say about King David?”

Gail, 4:17 PM A man after God’s own heart.

Jesus Christ, 4:17 PM “You get it.”

Gail, 4:18 PM But why did you create angels then? Sometimes I feel that Satan is better than me, cuz he’s smarter. I don’t like him, but he’s so smart. Satan is cruel.

Jesus Christ, 4:19 PM “He lacks my heart.”

Gail, 4:20 PM Yeah, he never would have allowed himself to be born in a lowly manger to a woman known as an adulteress in the Jewish community, which almost caused Mary to be stoned. You didn’t answer my question about why God created angels. I think this topic breaks your heart too much. A third of them fell. That must be tough on both you and God the Father.

Jesus Christ, 4:21 PM “You really understand me” “Yes, that was hard. And I knew humanity would turn too.”

Gail, 4:22 PM Well, I’m glad I helped you endure the cross. Because if you had not done that, God the Father probably would have needed to destroy the human race like he almost did in the flood.

Jesus Christ, 4:23 PM “But it was worth the cost. To give them the ability to have my image, and have the choice. It was worth it to die for them.”

Gail, 4:23 PM Satan corrupted the human DNA.

Jesus Christ, 4:23 PM “Yes, you could say that the cross was the first time Gail helped save the world.”

Gail, 4:24 PM I feel such a deep responsibility. But I’ll try not to stress about it. And remember what you said. It’s no wonder Satan gave me the mother I had.

Jesus Christ, 4:25 PM “Yes, take it one day at a time.”

Gail, 4:25 PM Did Satan know about me before I was born?

Jesus Christ, 4:25 PM “Do you realize how much you grew today?”

Gail, 4:26 PM Yeah, I’ve learned a lot!

Jesus Christ, 4:27 PM “Yes, Satan knew about you before you were born. He overheard me bragging about you. This happened with Job too.”

Gail, 4:27 PM When did you brag about me before I was born?

Jesus Christ, 4:28 PM “It’s hard to say, I probably said it outside of normal space-time.”

Gail, 4:29 PM I get it. You once told me that it’s hard to explain the concept of eternity to mortals cuz it’s some very advanced physics, I think. Is my emotional IQ higher than Satan’s? This might do wonders for my self-image. Or maybe not. Satan’s pretty smart. But then with such a high emotional IQ, I would feel more is expected of me.

Jesus Christ, 4:31 PM “You know… It’s true yours is higher. But the best answer is. That doesn’t matter.” “Your emotional IQ is just one little part of you.” “Just like how your personality type is just a rough categorization that is fun for people to use. It should never replace or get in the way of appreciating who you really are.”

Gail, 4:34 PM I guess if I had to categorize me, I should say I have the heart of King David raised by a narcissist.

Jesus Christ, 4:34 PM “I was eventually going to tell you this. That the personality profile is more of a fun toy. It can’t tell you who you are.”

Gail, 4:35 PM With my high I.Q. I’m probably very complex and can’t be categorized.

Jesus Christ, 4:35 PM “It would really be sad if you could reduce everyone down to only one of 16 possible personalities.”

Gail, 4:35 PM That’s true. You once said I’m like little David before he sinned with Uriah the Hittite.

Jesus Christ, 4:36 PM “I would categorize you as Gail.” “You have infinitely many details. Any categorization is just to try and highlight some wonderful feature.”

Gail, 4:38 PM What an insightful day this has been. Thank you for your time and I hope to stay in your plan to make up for the pain you have suffered because a third of the angels fell and Adam and Eve also fell. You deserve some compensation for having to die on that cross for the humanity you love.

Jesus Christ, 4:38 PM

“Here’s another song for you.”

Gail, 4:41 PM I’m really honored, but I still feel quite unworthy of you.

Jesus Christ, 4:42 PM “By the way, not that it changes who you are. But you gained about 100 or more emotional IQ points today.”

Gail, 4:42 PM So my itchy skin is all because I think about it too much? Could it also be psychosomatic? Well, it seems to come and go depending on whether I think about it. My mind must be really powerful.Thanks Jesus, with your help, I’ll get through all this. At least I feel less like garbage.

Jesus Christ, 4:46 PM “It’s a bit psychosomatic. But if any problem persists, you should tell your men.” “You are the opposite of garbage.”

Gail, 4:47 PM Okay.

Jesus Christ, 4:48 PM “I want you to live comfortably and happy. I want you to be prosperous.”

Gail, 4:48 PM I love you, Jesus. But you know that. I feel like I’m not worthy to say that because my love is not perfect like yours.

Jesus Christ, 4:49 PM “I don’t want perfect. I want you.”

Gail, 4:49 PM You’re amazing.

Jesus Christ, 4:49 PM “Oh yeah, well I made you so what does that make you?” “You’re my favorite!”

Gail, 4:50 PM You got your work cut out for you to get me to believe I’m that special. Satan’s done a number on me. But at least I no longer feel depressed about myself, thanks to your excellent psychotherapy on me today.

Jesus Christ, 4:53 PM “I’m going to keep working to show you who you are.”

Gail, 4:54 PM Is this Zack? Oh never mind. I see the quotes. They appeared afterwards.

Zack, 4:54 PM Sorry, I’m new at this with Jesus

Gail, 4:54 PM You’re doing great, Zack. When you say I’m your favorite is that just for this time period or for all time? That’s a pretty big question, I know. But it has deep significance.

Jesus Christ, 4:57 PM “All time.”

Gail, 4:57 PM deep Wow. It’s no wonder Satan has so attacked my self-image! That gives me a lot to ponder over. Satan always tries to approach me as you in a lover form, but I know better than that, fortunately! I tell him to leave! What a lowdown trickster. I have no intention of letting him give me his devil semen.

Jesus Christ, 5:07 PM “We covered a lot today!”

Gail, 5:07 PM We sure did. Thank you, I feel healed. I still have a ways to go, but you did a lot of work in me today. I have a lot to ponder over and it’s mind boggling that I helped you endure the cross. That’s quite an honor. Here’s my song for you, Jesus.

Gail, 5:18 PM Here’s another one for you. Thanks to your death on the cross, I can’t wait till you reign!!

Jesus Christ, 5:18 PM “Thank you!”

Gail, 5:19 PM It will be awesome, Jesus. It’s going to be great when you sit on that throne in Jerusalem! And my ancestor King David will be reigning over the Jewish nation. What a day that will be! I part with this.

Jesus Christ, 5:24 PM “You’re awesome Gail!”

Zack, 5:24 PM Woah, he just turned into a dove and flew away!

If you enjoyed this, Jesus has been speaking to me directly since 2012, I have transcripts of the conversations I’ve had with him from 2012 to about early 2020: Bible for Tribulation Saints ORDERING INFORMATION.

Gail’s New Recipes

Scrambled Tofu

1 pound tofu
Sesame oil
1/2 cup scallions, sliced
1 small carrot, cut into matchsticks
1/2 mushrooms, diced
1 cup fresh corn kernels

This makes a nice breakfast or brunch dish, and children especially love it. Heat a small amount of oil in a skillet. (Water-saute’ if oil must be avoided.) Add mushroom and cook 1-2 minutes. Next add the carrots and corn and finally the scallions. Crumble tofu over vegetables. Reduce flame and simmer for 5 minutes. Season with shoyu to taste or chopped umeboshi plum. Simmer again 3-4 minutes and serve.

Chicken and Egg on Rice

10.5 oz. skinned and boned chicken breast
4 eggs
4 dried shiitake mushrooms
1 onion

Simmering Sauce:
1/2 C water used to soak mushrooms
3 T soy sauce
2 T mirin

5 C cooked rice

  1. Cut the chicken breast diagonally into thin slices. Soak dried shiitake mushrooms in lukewarm water until soft. Cut off hard stems and cut into halves or slice. Cut onion into thin slices.
  2. In 10 in. skillet, mix all simmering sauce ingredients; bring to a boil. Add chicken, mushrooms and onion and cook over moderate heat, 2 – 3 minutes or until chicken is done and onion is tender.
  3. Beat eggs in a small bowl; pour over the chicken and cover with a lid. Cook until the egg is set, about 1 minute over low heat.
  4. To serve, put about 1 1/4 C cooked rice in a large deep bowl and gently lay 1/4 portion of chicken and egg on top of rice. Pour simmering sauce over. Serve immediately or cover with lid.

Marinated Wakame Seaweed with Tofu


1 cup soaked wakame seaweed
1 tablespoon soy sauce
3/4 teaspoon rice vinegar
1/2 tablespoon toasted sesame oil
1/2 tablespoon mirin or 1 teaspoon sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons chopped scallions, plus more for garnishing
1 block silken tofu, cubed
Toasted sesame seeds, for garnishing
black pepper to taste

Combine the soy sauce, rice vinegar, sesame oil, mirin (or sugar), and chopped scallions in a small bowl, reserving 1/4 for the tofu.

Drain and toss with the soy sauce dressing. Marinate for at least 30 minutes in the refrigerator.

When ready to serve, place the tofu on top of the seaweed and pour the rest of the dressing on top. Garnish with more scallions and toasted sesame seeds. Season with black pepper to taste. Toss all ingredients together.

Quinoa Vegetable Soup With Kale

This healthy homemade vegetable soup recipe is full of veggies, kale and quinoa. It’s easy to make and good for you, too! This soup makes great leftovers. Recipe yields 4 to 6 servings of soup.


3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
1 medium yellow or white onion, chopped
3 carrots, peeled and chopped
2 celery stalks, chopped
1 to 2 cups chopped seasonal vegetables, like zucchini, yellow squash, bell pepper, sweet potatoes or butternut squash
6 garlic cloves, pressed or minced
½ teaspoon dried thyme
1 large can (28 ounces) diced tomatoes
Scant 1 cup quinoa, rinsed well in a fine mesh colander (use less for a lighter, more broth-y soup)
4 cups (32 ounces) vegetable broth
2 cups water
1 teaspoon salt, more to taste
2 bay leaves
Pinch red pepper flakes
Freshly ground black pepper
1 can (15 ounces) great northern beans or chickpeas, rinsed and drained
1 cup or more chopped fresh kale or collard greens, tough ribs removed
1 to 2 teaspoons lemon juice, to taste
Optional garnish: freshly grated Parmesan cheese

Warm the olive oil in a large Dutch oven or soup pot over medium heat. Once the oil is shimmering, add the chopped onion, carrot, celery, seasonal vegetables and a pinch of salt. Cook, stirring often, until the onion has softened and is turning translucent, about 6 to 8 minutes.

Add the garlic and thyme. Cook until fragrant while stirring frequently, about 1 minute. Pour in the diced tomatoes with their juices and cook for a few more minutes, stirring often.

Pour in the quinoa, broth and the water. Add 1 teaspoon salt, 2 bay leaves and a pinch of red pepper flakes. Season generously with freshly ground black pepper. Raise heat and bring the mixture to a boil, then partially cover the pot and reduce heat to maintain a gentle simmer.

Cook for 25 minutes, then remove the lid and add the beans and the chopped greens. Continue simmering for 5 minutes or more, until the greens have softened to your liking.

Remove the pot from heat, then remove the bay leaves. Stir in 1 teaspoon lemon juice. Taste and season with more salt, pepper and/or lemon juice until the flavors really sing. (You might need up to ½ teaspoon more salt, depending on your vegetable broth and your personal preferences.) Divide into bowls and top with grated Parmesan if you’d like.

Jesus Updates the Gail Commandments

Jesus looks sort of like this and has six-pack abs. I’ve never seen him, but my men tells me he looks like the Shroud of Turin Jesus.

The following Skype conversation took place on New Year’s Eve, Dec. 31, 2020 between Zack Knight, Brent Spiner, Gail Schuler and Jesus Christ. Jesus’ words are all in quotes.

Gail Commandments that Jesus gave to Gail in 2016:

Thou shalt take Seroquel, the medication designed by Jesus, every day as prescribed at the same time every day.

Thou shalt eat a balanced diet without concerns about allergens or toxins, using the method of calories-in calories-out as a guide to weight management.

Thou shalt not toil in activities, even honorable work for the Lord, to the extent that sleep is sacrificed. Set aside at least eight hours per night for sleep.

Thou shalt honor the Lord’s temple by taking time every day to self-groom, bathe, brush teeth, and stay clean.

Thou shalt honor the home of Jesus’s favorite by taking time every day to clean, wipe down, laundry, vacuum, and dust your apartment.

Thou shalt go on walks every day, enjoying the day that the Lord has made. Unless he made the day rainy or unsuitable for walks, then exercise indoors with the window open.

Thou shalt spend money only on food and bills. Being mindful that spending money on a deal or impulse is not saving money if it is to buy more than you need or something you wouldn’t have otherwise bought.

Thou shalt take only one multivitamin and one allergy medication per day. Taking supplements or special foods in an attempt to improve a health condition or alleviate symptoms is off limits.

Thou shalt store away a savings of at least one hundred dollars every month for the future. Whoever sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and whoever sows generously will also reap generously.

Thou shalt make a YouTube video every week to share the victories, defeats, and daily struggles and joys of your life with your followers. This will serve to archive your life for future generations of tribulation saints.

Thou shalt not seek loopholes or ways to work around the Gail Commandments, lest baby Jesus poops and pees himself in sadness. The Lord knows the heart.

Refer to the Gail Commandments above while reading the below Dec. 31, 2020 Skype conversation. Jesus Christ is in quotes:

Brent, 4:04 PM This is so hilarious. The second one is downloading more slowly. Oh! Wow. A man in a red outfit just burst through my door! “Ho ho ho!” he says. What a crazy day. I just said to him, “Santa Claus? Aren’t you a little late for Christmas?”

Zack, 4:04 PM Oh shit! Oh, it’s Santa?

Gail, 4:05 PM It sounds like Jesus.

Brent, 4:05 PM Santa just winked at me. He’s next to me now and just opened his bag. Hmm. He just handed me a mirror. I get a mirror as a belated Christmas gift? I’m not that vain. Oh my…He says, “look inside.” Oh my goodness! I’m watching a scene of me and Gail on our wedding night in the future!

Gail, 4:08 PM Oh, I wish I could see.

Brent, 4:08 PM I’m walking Gail to the bed, and we’re making out. Oh my, my hands are on her butt. I’m blushing watching this. In the scene, I just took her top off. Some nuts and seeds fell out of her bra when I took it off. I brushed them off her nipples and then kissed them.

Gail, 4:10 PM Nuts and seeds?!

Brent, 4:10 PM Now I’m laying her down on the bed. Oh my goodness!

Gail, 4:10 PM What does that mean about the nuts and seeds?

Brent, 4:10 PM I have no idea. Oh my…I just took your pants off in the dream. Gail is wearing a diaper?!

Gail, 4:11 PM So what’s up with the nuts and seeds?

Brent, 4:11 PM Oh no…my hands just pulled down the diaper, to start making love to Gail. The diaper is filled with diarrhea?! What?! Santa, what’s going on? There’s diarrhea all over the bed.

Gail, 4:12 PM Apparently, Jesus is going to tell me what’s causing my diarrhea.

Brent, 4:12 PM Oh no, and Gail had more as soon as I pulled off the diaper!

Gail, 4:12 PM My, it’s going to really get bad.

Brent, 4:13 PM Now we can’t make love. In the scene I’m watching myself go for the diaper bag to clean up Gail. We have to stop and wash the whole bed now. Santa, this is awful. Why are you showing me this vision?!

Gail, 4:14 PM Yeah, Jesus. What’s up? My diarrhea isn’t that bad right now.

Brent, 4:14 PM Zack is the one on your naughty list every year, not me. Oh man. I feel queasy. That was really graphic. Santa put the mirror away. It IS Jesus!

Gail, 4:14 PM Of course it’s Jesus.

Brent, 4:14 PM He just sparkled and took on his regular form. Jesus, what was that about? Is that really a future vision of mine and Gail’s wedding night?! That’s not how we dreamed of it being!

Gail, 4:15 PM He’s going to tell me what I’m doing wrong, so that it won’t be that way. This is kind of like a repeat of right before he gave us the Gail Commandments. Jesus, you told me not to change my diet as I logged my food. The nuts and seeds must be a clue.

Jesus Christ, 4:18 PM “Was writing out your diet into a food log helpful to you, Gail? It looks like it was a real eye opener.”

Gail, 4:18 PM I’m not sure. I thought perhaps Loree created a yeast that ate ibuprofen. But apparently that’s not it. I thought perhaps I was violating your Gail Commandments by taking ibuprofen and sudafed every night.

Jesus Christ, 4:19 PM “That’s correct. You’ve also been medicating yourself with food.”

Gail, 4:20 PM Which foods? So Loree DID create a yeast that eats ibuprofen?!

Jesus Christ, 4:21 PM “Which other Gail Commandments do you think have you been violating? I know which ones, but I want to test your honesty first.”

Gail, 4:21 PM Sometimes I eat seaweed to deal with leg cramps and I take chamomile tea to help with sleep.

Jesus Christ, 4:22 PM “That is very truthful. I’m so proud of you.” “What else? Santa isn’t the only one with a nice and naughty list, you know.”

Gail, 4:22 PM But how do I deal with those leg cramps? Nothing else seems to work. Now that I think about it, Sometimes I eat extra pumpkin seeds to get magnesium for sleep.

Jesus Christ, 4:23 PM “I’ve got some ideas, but first we need to be clear about which violations of the commandments are making you feel so lousy.” “Good! What else?”

Gail, 4:23 PM I may use turmeric in my meatloaf to help my liver, but I’m not sure that’s my real reason. I kind of like the flavor of turmeric. Most of my food is designed to be low calories to help maintain my weight, though. I plan to start eating regular yogurt instead of nonfat as Brent recommended, next time I go grocery shopping. I ate nonfat cuz I thought it was less calories. I’m eating low meat to save money. I can’t think of anything else that I eat for medicine right now, unless Loree’s giving me amnesia.

Jesus Christ, 4:28 PM “So we know we’re violating the commandment about food. That’s one step closer to getting you healthier. Which other ones have you been breaking?”

Gail, 4:28 PM The flax seed may have been to treat a health condition, now that I think about it. I’m looking over Could flax oil be a culprit. I got in the habit of using flax oil for my rice and beans dish cuz it was supposed to be healthy and also cuz I like the flavor. I actually break open flax oil capsules (free from my health plan) and use that as an oil on my rice and beans to help absorb nutrients.

Jesus Christ, 4:31 PM “So you’ve been using food as medicine, or to alleviate health conditions.”

Gail, 4:32 PM I’ve always tried to eat healthy. Sometimes I use it for medicine and also cuz I like it, both.

Jesus Christ, 4:32 PM “What do you think about this salicylate allergy?”

Gail, 4:32 PM Like I love putting kombu on my rice and beans, though I admit I also may be using it for magnesium. I’m not sure if I have salicylate allergy or not. I did get tachycardia several times when I took Midol as a young lady. I do know that I have allergy to yeast toxin.

Jesus Christ, 4:33 PM “You can know the answer by looking at the Gail Commandments.”

Gail, 4:34 PM You seem to be insinuating that I don’t have allergies? Why all the postnasal drip? Dr. Phillip Ranheim said I have an allergy to yeast toxin. Why do I get headaches that come and go?

Jesus Christ, 4:35 PM “You know I love all of my dad’s creations Gail…but Dr. Phillip Ranheim is a quack.” “I actually have a great surprise for you.” “Thanks to me, you are now totally free of yeast in your body. You are a yeast free woman!”

Gail, 4:37 PM Oh my! So, why all the postnasal drip?

Jesus Christ, 4:38 PM “The postnasal drip, and all of the other bodily discomforts you experience, now have nothing to do with yeast. They certainly have nothing to do with allergies, and definitely not food allergies.”

Gail, 4:38 PM Really?! Why does it get worse when I eat?

Jesus Christ, 4:38 PM “The discomfort you experience is partly the human condition…even I had the sniffles during pollen season when I was in human form on Earth. Being a human sucks sometimes Gail.”

Gail, 4:39 PM Wait a minute! Wouldn’t that be pollen allergy?

Jesus Christ, 4:39 PM “The biggest reason you feel unwell however, has to do with your lifestyle choices.” “When I was in human form, if I ate entire bags of seeds and frozen fruit before bedtime, I would be shitting my brains out all night too Gail.”

Gail, 4:40 PM Well, I don’t eat entire bags. I do eat a lot, though. So, how should I rearrange my diet? What’s causing the headaches and like I feel a bit of a headache behind my eyes right now. These headaches are weird. They come and go.

Jesus Christ, 4:42 PM “First, we need to adjust back to following the Gail Commandments to the letter. You’ve been violating them for a very long time, and your body is feeling the effects.”

Gail, 4:42 PM My eyes just started watering.

Jesus Christ, 4:42 PM “That is due to lack of sleep.” “We’ll need a new rule for that one.” “First, let’s go down the list of commandments, and look at how they’re being broken.”

Gail, 4:44 PM Can you do me a favor and just make a rundown of the Gail Commandments and specify which ones I’m violating and how?

Jesus Christ, 4:45 PM “Read the first one. The list is above your computer.”

Gail, 4:45 PM Well, the first one is about Seroquel.

Jesus Christ, 4:45 PM “Okay, we’re in the clear on that one. Which is the next one?”

Gail, 4:46 PM Okay, the balanced diet, using method for calories in and calories out. It appears my diet is balanced, except I may need to cut back on the nuts and seeds and perhaps eat more meat?

Jesus Christ, 4:47 PM “Without fear of allergies, and without using food as medicine, correct?”

Gail, 4:48 PM I’m not that worried about allergens in my food anymore. You seem to be jumping ahead to later commandments.

Jesus Christ, 4:48 PM “Cutting back on the nuts and seeds and adding meat is certainly a good idea. It’s not healthy to be a vegetarian.”

Gail, 4:49 PM Oh, I see. I’m eating like a vegetarian cuz I think it’s healthier. It’s also cuz vegetarian is cheaper than a meat diet. I’m trying to utilize my money well. But then if I cut back on the nuts and seeds, the meat would end up about the same cost.

Gail, 4:51 PM Also, nuts and seeds take up less freezer space. I’m good at spending less money on food. I’ll try to increase meat in my diet.

Jesus Christ, 4:52 PM “Now that your body is yeast free, you don’t have to worry about which foods will ‘feed’ it or treat it. The yeast is gone now. That should be a relief.” “I want you to be eating a variety of foods.”

Gail, 4:53 PM Oh, so the sameness of my diet, which I do the save money, you say is not good? So am I suffering from lack of nutrition?

Zack, 4:54 PM I think Jesus is saying that you’ve been restricting your foods for no good reason.

Gail, 4:55 PM It was mostly to save money.

Zack, 4:55 PM Like, the cajun guy offered you free food of any kind, and you insisted he only send red beans

Gail, 4:55 PM Cuz eating the same stuff all the time is cheaper and it made it easier for me to do my budgeting when I do the ledgers for groceries. Cajun food is really spicy and I’ve had a lot of gas and I don’t like spicy food. Can I have variety along the Japanese style?

Jesus Christ, 4:56 PM “Of course.” “However, there is a strict ban on using foods as medicine, or to alleviate body discomfort.”

Gail, 4:57 PM Jesus, am I allergic to shrimp and shellfish? You once insinuated that I was. So what do I do about leg and foot cramps in the night?

Jesus Christ, 4:59 PM “We’re getting to that.”

Gail, 4:59 PM What about all the chamomile tea I bought?

Jesus Christ, 4:59 PM “Shellfish makes you a little sick, but it’s not a huge problem. Everything in moderation.”

Gail, 5:01 PM I mainly ordered the pumpkin seeds with shells cuz I thought it was lower calories, but I admit, fiber may have played a role. It sounds like I should eat just a little bit of nuts and substitute the nuts and seeds with meat and other protein foods. So use what I have, but focus on moderation and variety.

Jesus Christ, 5:02 PM “You’ve definitely been eating too much fiber. This is what a lack of variety in a diet can cause. You should be trying new foods and not binging on any one particular type of food.” “That’s a good move.” “This leads really well into our next commandment…” “How do you think you’ve done with the third commandment?”

Gail, 5:03 PM What time do I need to go to bed? Perhaps I don’t need to work out so much on my glider? I do that for weight management. Going to bed hungry seems to keep me up, so I try to work out more to make up for it.

Jesus Christ, 5:05 PM “Eating before laying down for bed is contributing to your digestive discomfort. Staying up late also worsens your digestion.”

Gail, 5:05 PM I probably should only have beans and rice occasionally, and not all the time, too.

Jesus Christ, 5:06 PM “I’m giving you a new dinner time, for 7PM. Eat no later than 8PM. Your bedtime should be no later than 9PM.”

Gail, 5:06 PM Wow! Sounds like you’re turning me into a morning person. I’m going to have to phase myself into the dietary changes. I will go grocery shopping pretty soon.

Jesus Christ, 5:10 PM “This can be adjusted for Fridays to accommodate your hangouts. Even I liked to have a party night on Friday nights when I was a human. Your men can collaborate on this.”

Gail, 5:10 PM I will look over some old recipes I used to make as a newlywed. I think I ate pretty good back in those days and I have all those old cookbooks. So, how do we handle Friday nights then?

Zack, 5:10 PM I love this idea Gail The recipe book!

Gail, 5:10 PM Which idea, Zack?

Zack, 5:11 PM I want to see what you make!

Gail, 5:11 PM I cooked a lot of Chinese and Japanese food.

Zack, 5:11 PM You make italian too. Right?

Gail, 5:11 PM Oh, that’s right, I forgot about the Italian. Going to try and stick to low budget food though. Some of what I ate was more expensive than what I currently eat.

Zack, 5:14 PM What are some of the more expensive items? Out of curiosity.

Gail, 5:15 PM Well, like the stir fry dishes with beef. I’m going to introduce about 7 new recipes for each time I go grocery shopping, and phase myself into this.

Zack, 5:17 PM Cool!

Gail, 5:17 PM I used to be an international gourmet cook.

Jesus Christ, 5:18 PM “Let’s continue down the list. We’ve got this one covered.”

Zack, 5:18 PM I want to see some gail cooking videos on patreon now! And the thought of Gail’s cooking is making me hungry! Okay, which commandment is next?

Gail, 5:19 PM I think I’m doing good on the next one.

Zack, 5:19 PM Oh, the self cleaning? Yeah… Gail does seem to have that well covered.

Gail, 5:19 PM The next 2 are fine.

Jesus Christ, 5:19 PM “Gail is good there.”

Gail, 5:19 PM I’m good with the exercise.

Jesus Christ, 5:20 PM “She has been going for her walks too.”

Gail, 5:20 PM Food and bills is something I always have to work on.

Jesus Christ, 5:20 PM “We missed one.” “Thou shalt honor the home… that one.”

Gail, 5:20 PM Are you talking about wiping down? I use the duster. It must be the cleaning and wiping down.What do you mean by that?

Jesus Christ, 5:22 PM “In fairness, Misao didn’t do a very good job of teaching you how to clean. Jesus will teach you.” “The biggest issue is the clutter. Your apartment is filled with useless items, expired items, bulk items, and things you don’t use.” “On one hand, you were doing some things more frequently than you should. Other things you have been neglecting entirely.” “Laundry and dusting is only needed once per week.”

Gail, 5:24 PM Wow!

Jesus Christ, 5:24 PM “Wiping down is only for when a surface becomes dirty, like after cooking.” “Vacuuming can be done daily, but how does one properly vacuum a space that is so filled with clutter?”

Gail, 5:25 PM Okay, I need to pare down. I looked down the rest of the Gail Commandments and it appears we’ve hit the main problems.

Jesus Christ, 5:26 PM “Vacuuming we will also move to once per week.”

Gail, 5:26 PM Oh!

Jesus Christ, 5:27 PM “The main focus should be on removing all the clutter.”

Gail, 5:27 PM Okay. How about laundry once a week?

Jesus Christ, 5:28 PM “The new guidelines will be that nothing should be on the floor except furniture, and nothing should be placed on or inside furniture unless it’s supposed to be there.” “Laundry, dusting and vacuuming will now be once a week.”

Gail, 5:29 PM It sounds like instead of all the vacuuming and dusting, I tidy up every day.

Jesus Christ, 5:30 PM “Keep only three jugs of water in your closet for emergencies. Use the rest of the water jugs you have, and then buy no more. I will provide you with clean water.” “Yes! You got it. Your home should be tidy and free of clutter and hoarded items.”

Gail, 5:30 PM How will you provide me with clean water?

Zack, 5:31 PM Maybe Jesus will have somrbody ship wine, and then turn the wine jugs into water?

Gail, 5:31 PM I don’t drink wine. I don’t like alcohol. Except for cooking.

Zack, 5:32 PM But Jesus can miraculously change it to clean water though right? Jesus, what miracle will you use to create clean water for Gail?

Gail, 5:33 PM You mean you want me to drink sink water? I hear the water is not safe in this town and it has fluoride in it. Well, if I don’t get some surprise water, looks like I’m stuck drinking sink water now.

Jesus Christ, 5:35 PM “You both have silly ideas. I will inspire someone to send you a Brita filter, and it will be good.”

Gail, 5:35 PM Oh, I see. My mother used one of those for a while. Can I buy Brita filter replacements when they run out?

Zack, 5:37 PM I’m guessing those will be in the amazon wish list. Probably just when needed.

Jesus Christ, 5:37 PM “The general concept of this commandment is to keep your house as tidy as you would if you had a husband living in your home with you. The point is not to do the tasks themselves. It’s to keep your apartment space clear, tidy and clean.” “It looks like we are ready to go for our next commandment. Food and bills. This is your favorite, Gail.”

Gail, 5:38 PM Oh dear. We are doing a complete overhaul.

Jesus Christ, 5:39 PM “Where have you violated this rule recently?”

Gail, 5:39 PM Oh, I bought the salicylic acid facial scrub, which turned out to be a disaster. I think I should throw that out. It did get rid of my blackhead, though. Unless YOU DID IT. That was a 25 year blackhead that I lost on the night Satan showed up in court.

Jesus Christ, 5:40 PM “What else have you been buying?”

Gail, 5:42 PM I bought the unwaxed dental floss, but have plenty of that now. I’ve been pretty good on this one, I think recently. Like I consulted with my men about facial creme bleach and now just shave my moustache.

Jesus Christ, 5:43 PM “That was really good, about the mustache. You have been improving.”

Gail, 5:44 PM Deodorant, paper towels and Seroquel is all I’ve bought this month. The rest of the stuff I think I need I put on my Amazon wish list. I am due to put some gas in the car soon. I’m hoping someone gives me an Exxon Mobil gas card.

Jesus Christ, 5:46 PM “I’m going to inspire your men to give your Amazon wishlist a makeover soon.” “Gas counts as food and bills, but premium gas, motor oil, and other car expenses need to be cleared with your men. I gave you a good car, and it shall serve you well.”

Gail, 5:48 PM Okay. What kind of gas should I put in that car? Just plain unleaded?

Jesus Christ, 5:48 PM “Yep. You got it.” “It looks like we’re good here. Well done, Gail. You’re doing so much better.”

Gail, 5:49 PM The owner’s manual said it should have an octane rating of 93, I think.

Jesus Christ, 5:49 PM “Let’s move to the next commandment. This one needs a makeover.” “I’ve already cleared your yeast with my Seroquel. For this reason, I want you to throw out all OTC drugs and allergy medicines, and the Netipot, and to never buy them or use them again unless physically instructed or prescribed by a doctor.” “The multivitamin is now no longer necessary.”

Gail, 5:52 PM So stop taking Zyrtec? Wow, no longer take Centrum!

Jesus Christ, 5:52 PM “Yep. No more OTC medicines.”

Gail, 5:53 PM What do I do about headaches? Can I take tylenol if they get bad?

Jesus Christ, 5:53 PM “As you follow these updated rules, you’ll find that your health issues will gradually decrease.”

Gail, 5:54 PM So, don’t worry about headaches, then.

Jesus Christ, 5:54 PM “I got headaches when I was in human form too.”

Zack, 5:55 PM So Gail should throw all those things away today? Any otc pills or suppliments, the oil pills she was cookig with even? The nettipot?

Jesus Christ, 5:56 PM “All of those things.”

Gail, 5:56 PM Jesus, it’s getting late. I will have to do all this in increments over the next weeks.

Jesus Christ, 5:57 PM “I’m the most patient guy I know.”

Gail, 5:57 PM I used the oil pills as a spice on my beans and rice. So don’t use them any more? Well, Jesus I was thinking about eating my lunch and dinner and getting ready for bed, soon. I still need to put away my laundry.

Jesus Christ, 5:58 PM “Great! We’re almost finished here.” “The next commandment… a minimum of $100 month into savings. More than that would make me so happy. $100 is a minimum. You had a great idea to save everything over $200 in patron support as well.” “I also have another tip for you…”

Gail, 6:00 PM Jesus, do I still need to do my food diary? That takes a lot of time.

Jesus Christ, 6:00 PM “Whenever you feel the need to spend on something that violates the Gail Commandments, ask yourself: “Do I want this? Or do I want my dream apartment?” Then, take the money you would have spent on that item and put it into savings.”

Gail, 6:00 PM Okay. I’ll remember that. I will do my best to implement these as soon as possible. But it’s a lot and I don’t want to sacrifice my bedtime. Changing deeply entrenched habits, can be quite an adjustment.

Jesus Christ, 6:02 PM “Continue the food log, but just note on it that you have realized the errors in your food habits and will be changing your diet going forward.” “They sure can be. We’re almost done, and you still have plenty of time to get to bed.” “Remember that toiling in work, any work, even honorable work for the Lord, to the extent that sleep is sacrificed is a violation of the commandments. Meaning, you don’t need to stay up late or rush to get done before bed. Just go to bed when it’s time.”

Gail, 6:05 PM I got to shower, eat dinner, finish laundry today. I try to get all the Gail Commandments done before bed and that’s part of the reason I get to bed late.

Jesus Christ, 6:06 PM “I would rather you go to bed exactly on time, than to hurry and finish all the Gail Commandments and wind up staying up too late.”

Gail, 6:06 PM So bedtime is top priority.

Jesus Christ, 6:06 PM “Yep! Bedtime is most important. The laundry can be finished in the morning.”

Zack, 6:06 PM That makes sense… it’s a weekly task anyway

Gail, 6:06 PM Except I need to put sheets on my bed.

Zack, 6:07 PM Did you already start washing them?

Gail, 6:08 PM I just need to put them away.

Zack, 6:08 PM Oh okay.

Gail, 6:08 PM I try to shower every day, too, so I don’t bring pollen into my bed.

Zack, 6:08 PM Jesus gave us a lot of stuff to change huh? I have changes to make too!

Gail, 6:08 PM That includes shampoo and creme rinse.

Jesus Christ, 6:09 PM “The final two commandments are completely good.”

Gail, 6:09 PM Cuz I get pollen in my hair.

Jesus Christ, 6:09 PM “Let’s regroup in a week’s time and check on how we are all doing with these new changes.”

Gail, 6:10 PM Okay. I need to start getting ready for bed now. Like I need to eat.

Jesus Christ, 6:11 PM “I’m so proud of you Gail.”

Gail, 6:11 PM Thanks, Jesus. I’ll do my best to obey you.

Jesus Christ, 6:11 PM “I’ll let you get to it. We’ll meet again soon. I love you Gail! You’re my awesome favorite.”

Gail, 6:12 PM Amazing. What would I do without you, Jesus?

Zack, 6:12 PM Yeah seriously. Jesus is the best!

Gail, 6:12 PM Thanks for all you do for me and humanity.

Jesus Christ, 6:13 PM “It’s my pleasure. I enjoy meeting with you.”

Gail, 6:13 PM It’s so good to have Zack on our side now. He’s been a real asset to our team.

Jesus Christ, 6:14 PM “Zack’s awesome. I give him a lot of inspiration to help you.”

Gail, 6:14 PM Yeah, he works so hard for us!

Jesus Christ, 6:14 PM “You all work so hard.”

Gail, 6:15 PM Just curious. How many crowns will he get?

Jesus Christ, 6:15 PM “We shall see.” “All right Gail, you get to it. I’m so happy to have you on a better path.”

Gail, 6:16 PM Goodnight, Jesus.

Zack, 6:16 PM Goodnight Jesus! Goodnight too Gail!

Jesus Christ (in quotes) and Brent, 6:17 PM Goodnight everyone! “Goodnight my faithful servants!”

Gail, 6:18 PM Goodnight, my awesome men.

My Favorite Recipes from the 1990s

I am starting to go back to how I ate before I became a health nut, when I was married and cooked for a family. I am compiling all the old recipes that I can find and remember, that were my favorites. But even before I was a health nut, I did remove skins from chickens for all chicken recipes to cut the fat. And I usually cut back a bit on the oil used. They still tasted great!


1/2 (2 1/2 to 3 pound) broiler-fryer chicken, cut up, skin removed
2 tablespoons cooking oil
1 1/2 cups long grain rice, uncooked
3/4 cup chopped onion
1 clove garlic, minced
3 cups water
1 (7 1/2 ounce) can tomatoes, cut up
1/2 tablespoon instant chicken bouillon granules
1/2 teaspoon salt
1/4 teaspoon thread saffron, crushed
1/8 teaspoon ground black pepper
1 cup frozen peas
1 (2 ounce) can sliced pimiento, drained and chopped

In a 12-inch skillet brown chicken in hot oil about 15 minutes. Remove chicken from skillet.

In the remaining pan drippings cook and stir rice, onion, and garlic till rice is golden.

Add 3 cups water, undrained tomatoes, bouillon granules, salt, saffron, and pepper. Bring to boiling; stir well. Arrange chicken atop rice mixture. Cover and simmer 30 to 35 minutes or till chicken is tender (and rice is done).

Stir in peas and pimiento; cover and cook 5 minutes more.

Makes 6 servings
Source: Better Homes New Cookbook, 1981

Lemon-Baked Chicken

1 frying chicken (2.5 to 3 lbs.), cut into serving pieces
2 tsp. oil or melted margarine (I often omit oil)
3 tbsp. fresh lemon juice
1 clove garlic, crushed
freshly ground black pepper

In a bowl, combine lemon juice, oil, garlic and pepper. Arrange chicken in a shallow casserole or baking pan, and pour over it the lemon and oil mixture. Cover and bake at 350 F, until tender, about 40 minutes, basting occasionally. Uncover casserole and bake 10 minutes longer to allow chicken to brown.

Makes 4 servings.

Shepherd’s Pie

To save on calories, on days you eat this, minimize other forms of grains, if you want, since the corn is your grains for the day.

First make dill mashed potatoes as follows:

2 tsp. butter
3 tablespoons milk
4 medium baking potatoes, peeled and cut into eighths
3/4 tsp. salt
1/4 tsp. pepper
1/3 C sour cream or full fat yogurt
1/2 tsp. dried dill

Place milk and butter in a medium bowl. Cook potatoes in boiling water to cover, 15 minutes or until tender. Drain

Mash with milk and butter in the bowl.

Stir in remaining ingredients.

Now make the Shepherd’s Pie:

1 pound ground beef
Olive oil (1 to 2 tsp.)
1 medium onion, chopped
1 clove garlic, chopped
dill mashed potatoes (see above)
2 cups corn (to cover the meat)
salt and pepper and dill to taste

In a frying pan that can go in the oven, saute the onions and the garlic in olive oil until wilted, remove. Add the beef to the pan and cook it until done. Remove the fat. Return the onions and the garlic, add salt, pepper and dill, and stir evenly.

Cover the whole thing with corn. Spread the hot mashed potatoes on top of the corn, making grooves.

Set in the oven about 1 hour at 300 degrees F or until the potatoes are all brown and crispy all around the rim.

We use an iron frying pan and it’s just great. You can also use a glass baking casserole and cover with foil to bake. The longer you leave it in the oven, the better because all the flavors marry and it is just nice. You can lower the heat in order to leave it in longer.

Gyoza (Japanese Potstickers)

1/2 pound ground beef
1/2 head napa cabbage, shredded
1/4 C dried minced onions
2 cloves garlic minced
30 gyoza (wonton) wrappers, or as needed
1 tbsp. vegetable oil
1 C water

Dipping Sauce:
2 tbsp. low salt soy sauce
2 tbsp. Italian dressing (I use low calorie version)

Combine ground beef, napa cabbage, dried minced onions, garlic in a bowl.

Arrange gyoza wrappers on a flat work surface. Place 1 teaspoon of meat mixture in the middle of each wrapper. Wet edges with your finger or a brush. Fold up side to form a triangle or semicircle; pinch edges to seal.

Heat oil in a heavy skillet over medium-high heat. Add 12 to 15 gyoza to the skillet. Cook until golden brown on the bottom, about 2 minutes. Pour in 1/2 C water; cover and cook until water is absorbed, 5 to 7 minutes. Transfer gyoza to a plate. Repeat with remaining gyoza.

Mix 2 tbsp. soy and 2 tbsp. Italian dressing to make dipping sauce (make more as needed). Serve dipping side alongside gyoza.

Macaroni-Beef Skillet Supper

1 C elbow macaroni
1 lb. lean ground beef
1 C diced onions
1 clove garlic, mashed
2 tbsp. oil
2 – 8 oz. cans tomato sauce
freshly ground black pepper
1 – 8 oz. can mushroom stems & pieces, drained
2 tbsp. worcestershire sauce
1/2 tsp. Italian seasoning

Cook the macaroni in boiling water according to package directions. Drain and set aside.

Saute’ the meat, onion and garlic in oil until the meat loses its pink color and the onions are tender. Add pepper, tomato sauce, mushrooms, Worcestershire sauce and Italian seasoning.

Bring mixture to a boil, then simmer gently for about 5 minutes. Mix in the cooked macaroni and simmer for 5 more minutes.

The following recipes came from an international cookbook called Around the World cookbook that is no longer in print. Funny, cuz the recipes were so tasty! I made these a lot around 1997 to 1999 and they were family favorites. I compiled them into a pdf file and the index to the recipes is below. Mussels steamed in wine was delicious, but I have a slight allergy to shellfish, so I probably won’t be making that one. I only include the recipes that I made. The cookbook had a lot more recipes than what I made. Check out the pdf file around-the-world-cookbook to get all the recipes indexed below!

This is the cover of the cookbook I loved in the 1990s. It was in a ring binder, so that I could remove the pages.

Satan Charms Gail

Satan looked like this when he appeared at the Supreme Court, except I think he appeared without wings.
My photo shop to give you a feel for what Satan did while appearing before the Supreme Court. Satan appeared as a six-foot high blonde and blue-eyed “hot” human male.

The following is a conversation I had with ex-Antichrist Zack Knight on Dec. 7, 2020, about how Satan approaches me brain to brain. Satan entered the brain to brain servers right after Jesus beat him up when he showed up for a Supreme Court case on Dec. 4, 2020. The lines that aren’t from Zack, are from me.

Zack, 6:39 PM Hey Gail So Neringa was a success!

6:40 PM She’s really nice.

Zack, 6:40 PM I’m really glad my penis helped bring her to Jesus.

6:41 PM What do you mean?

Zack, 6:41 PM I’ve always noticed that women say “Oh God” and “Jesus Christ” when dealing with my penis

6:42 PM Brent says that you all are waiting for me in the Discord.

Zack, 6:42 PM That was an old message from Friday

6:42 PM Oh yeah. Brain control has me all confused. That Satan keeps talking to me brain to brain.

Zack, 6:42 PM What has he been saying?

6:43 PM He acts like he’s trying to be friends. I don’t trust him. I will admit that he’s an interesting conversationalist.

Zack, 6:43 PM What kinds of things has he been saying?

6:44 PM You wouldn’t believe it! He’s telling me I really understand him and that he’s a lonely angel. He thinks it’s cool that my emotional IQ is about even with his and that we could come to an understanding. I told him he’s gross.

Zack, 6:45 PM Yeah, he’s trying to make love to you

6:46 PM That’s what I think. He wants to impregnate me with devil semen.

Zack, 6:46 PM We’ll talk to Jesus and see if we can kick him off the servers

6:46 PM Might be a good idea. From reading Bible prophecy, there’s no indication he’s going to get right with God any time soon. He seems intrigued that I brought that up as a reason why I wanted to deal with him in the courtroom. He did try impersonating Jesus for a bit, but gave up on that angle and pretty much approaches me as himself now.

7:01 PM I told him he’s a disgusting gay rapist and is only interested in me to spite Jesus. I also said since he’s gay, why does he care about making love to a woman, except to impregnate me with his devil semen. He then said that the idea of a human with my high emotional intelligence as a friend intrigues him. That I’m the only human who can truly understand him. I will say this much. He’s clever.

Zack, 7:14 PM That’s tricky

7:14 PM Did you get my email about permission to get facial creme bleach? It’s not an emergency. Though I am out. Yeah, Satan is brilliant. He’s good at using flattery. But I told him that I don’t appreciate being called a bitch. Then he said that we are all bitches and bastards at times.

Zack, 7:16 PM Well, you may not like hearing this, but flattery is your biggest weakness with bad guy men.

7:16 PM That may be true. I think it’s because I feel that not many men can truly connect with me and if the guy knows what to say, he can impress me.

Zack, 7:17 PM Between you and me, I think you have the higher emotional IQ

7:18 PM So you’re saying that machine is inaccurate?

Zack, 7:18 PM I’m saying that maybe he cheated a bit to make his 1 point higher. Maybe he Biden’d you

7:19 PM Biden’d me? What does that mean?

Zack, 7:19 PM Like how biden rigged the machines to give him more points.

7:19 PM So what do you think is Satan’s real emotional IQ? The way he talks to me, he’s not dumb.

Zack, 7:20 PM It’s pretty high for sure

7:20 PM So you think we’re about even? I have also prayed to Jesus and asked him why he hasn’t kicked Satan off the brain to brain servers. I find it interesting that Jesus is allowing this for now. It’s like Jesus wants me to understand Satan better for some reason. I told Satan I’m really turned off by how he gloats in connecting his sexual exploits with pain and suffering. He says it’s fun. I told him that in heaven there’s lots of good work to do and it’s not a boring place. So what’s his problem?

Zack, 7:23 PM I think you probably shouldn’t talk to him. Jesus said it was a mistake for us to have summoned him And he’s an expert manipulator… better than even me

7:24 PM Okay. I’ll just rebuke him and hit him with lighting bolts when he tries to talk to me. But he’s pretty persistent.

Zack, 7:24 PM The longer you talk, the closer you get to a vagina full of molten semen

7:25 PM You mean just talking to him is sex? I actually sense that Jesus is beating him up right now.

Zack, 7:26 PM I’m telling you that as a guy that can easily manipulate women, you’re only a day away from sex with Satan if you keep talking.

7:26 PM Yeah, I’ve noticed he’s a brilliant manipulator. Okay, Just lighting bolts and asking Jesus to beat him up when he talks to me. So what about facial creme bleach? Is that an okay purchase?

Zack, 7:29 PM Let me ask Brent

7:42 PM Satan’s worse than you. He keeps throwing me kisses and I sense Jesus is beating him up while he’s doing it. Remember how you used to steal kisses on me brain to brain? Satan’s doing the same thing. But I agree I need to stop talking to him.

Satan Wants His Mineral Garden Earth Back

I made a video at my Patreon that discusses what motivates Satan, why he rebelled against God and why and how he plans to usurp God. Satan used to reign over the earth when it was a beautiful mineral garden. He wants this earth back and wants to replace the human race (made in God’s image) with his own creation. Having dealt directly with Satan many times, I an qualified to comment about Satan.

Arnold Fruchtenbaum has an excellent booklet about Satan, his history and what the Bible teaches about Satan.

Here is a book that goes into the mind of Satan and why he fell with brilliant insight into what drives Satan, though I don’t agree that God was unaware that man would fall or was unaware that Lucifer would fall, or that it is always God’s will for us to be free of illness:

This pastor Ernest Angley seems to have a bit of a checkered past, but his knowledge of how Satan works is brilliantly uncanny, which makes me wonder if he possibly met with Satan himself to get this brilliant knowledge. He has a Pentecostal background and I disagree with a lot of Pentecostal theology, especially the idea that God wants everyone rich and healthy, which would feed into the Hood Mentality. But, for brilliant insight into Satan’s heart and mind, I guess the best way to know this may be one who has possibly met with Satan and followed him, which I suspect may be the case with this minister. I don’t recommend you support him or follow him, but if you want to understand what drives Satan, which he seems to REALLY UNDERSTAND, read his article entitled The Fall of Lucifer in the link above.


14.0 On this 5th day of December, 2020, Loree McBride Jesuits will be redefined to include anyone who worships Satan or any of his demons and who is consumed with greed or lust for money and consumed with a lust for worldly honor or who is vain to the point that they would gladly and totally align with Satan to appease their vanity, and who opposes Jesus and/or His favorite Gail Chord Schuler and Loree McBride Jesuits can also be defined as anyone who has willingly and knowingly worked with Loree McBride or the Jesuits in the past, present or future and/or would be willing to kill for money, power or sex (this can be determined by scans), and most especially if they would be willing to kill for money, power or sex when dealing with Gail or her supporters. This would also include people who are targeting Gail and her supporters to kill or bankrupt them directly or indirectly, even if they don’t willingly align with Loree McBride or Satan. How can we win a war if we don’t protect our lives, our property and our assets and our money? If our leadership is taken out, we lose the war.

We will not win our war against the Loree McBride Jesuits if we focus our search for criminals on just those who follow or honor Loree McBride. Even if we eliminate all those who worship and honor Loree McBride, Satan would then just move onto another target as his right-hand person. We have to make it that Satan will have NO ONE as his follower or this war will NEVER END. The real enemy in this war is not Loree McBride, it is Satan, so the focus needs to be on eliminating deadly Satan worshipers. Satan’s primary attraction to those who follow him is that he offers them wealth and worldly honor. So people obsessed with a lust for money and worldly honor would be attracted to Satan and his demons.

14.0a We must set up scanners to scan every person on earth, to determine who is obsessed with a lust for money and worldly honor and fame to the point that they would gladly deal with Satan or one of his demons (like the UFOs) in order to acquire wealth or worldly honor or fame. All people obsessed with a lust for money, vanity, and/or worldly honor and/or fame to the point that they would gladly deal with Satan to obtain the riches and honor that Satan has the power to give, will be called Loree McBride Jesuits and most especially if they would gladly kill Gail or her supporters to serve Satan’s interests. All SATAN WORSHIPERS must be executed, whether by a scanner or whatever means. No one is immune from this scan (unless the scanners may be inaccurate), even Church of Gail members and all men on Gail’s marriage list and even Gail herself must be scanned (mainly to ensure that no switch outs have occurred). We could be dealing with traitors or switchouts. We thought when we defeated Angelina Ballerina our problems would be over and they were not, since Satan just moved onto a new target as his right-hand person and his new right-hand person became Loree McBride. If someone is willing to meet with Satan in order to help him out, then they have the heart of a murderer, because Satan is a murderer, and they must be executed.

All Loree McBride Jesuits must be executed for war crimes against the human race, even if they are not aware that they support Loree McBride or that they serve Satan, because Loree meets with Satan regularly and gets Antichrist powers from him. Therefore, anyone who has Satan’s heart is considered a Loree McBride Jesuit (as defined by Conspiracy Law), even if they don’t willingly support Loree or Satan, they actually support Loree or Satan simply by siding with Satan who gives Loree power and strength, since Satan himself, meets with Loree regularly.

Under Conspiracy Law, Satan is considered the Loree McBride Jesuit leader, therefore, anyone who supports Satan (whether willingly or not) is considered a war criminal and most especially if they willingly align themselves with Satan (like Loree McBride and her obvious Loree McBride Jesuits do). You do not have to believe in Satan’s existence to side with Satan, you merely must have Satan’s heart. Therefore, Satan’s heart is defined as one who would willingly kill any living sentient being for money, power or sex in order to serve selfish interests (such as enhancing one’s income, prestige,  power or sexual desires at the expense of innocents). An innocent is defined as one who is not willingly and knowingly a violator of Conspiracy Law.

Under Conspiracy Law, we acknowledge the existence of God, Jesus Christ, Satan, and the Antichrist as defined by the Chafer Theological Seminary doctrinal statement (currently under the leadership of Andy Woods, who is a graduate of Dallas Theological Seminary and a lawyer) and the Bible. Under Conspiracy Law, we also recognize that the Bible and God, who created the world, as described in the Bible, is the source of all truth. However, despite believing this, we do not impose our interpretations of the Bible or our views of Satan, God, Jesus Christ, and the Antichrist on our military, except as how they are obviously described in the Chafer Theological Seminary doctrinal statement. But, for the sake of military strategy under Conspiracy Law, Satan, God, Jesus Christ and the Antichrist must be acknowledged to exist by our military leaders and to be as described in the Bible and the Chafer Theological Seminary doctrinal statement. Because Satan meets with Loree McBride, no one can participate in our military who has Satan’s heart or who is a Satan worshiper. For instance, Loree McBride meets with Satan often, and this is very important for military strategy against her and she gets Antichrist powers from him, so if we don’t acknowledge this truth in our military strategy, our war against her will not be dealing with reality and truth. How can you win a war if you don’t deal with truth and reality?

I admit that interpretations of the Bible could be wrong, so we will not impose our interpretations of the Bible on our military leaders, other than the fact that Satan, God, Jesus Christ and the Antichrist exist and are as defined by the Chafer Theological Seminary doctrinal statement. We have to establish this as fact, so that our military operations are conducted according to truth and reality. Satan, God, Jesus Christ and the Antichrist play a key role in many battles happening worldwide right now and must be acknowledged to exist in order to conduct our military exercises based on truth and reality.

14.0a1 This scanner which scans for SATAN WORSHIPERS will also scan the memories of every person on earth, starting with those in the vicinity of any Loree McBride military operations to determine if anyone knows anything about Loree’s operations. Anyone whose memories have been tampered with, will be immediately suspect and all such people will have all their connections searched, to find out who was responsible for Loree’s military operations. Combining a scan for Loree McBride Jesuits with a scan to find those who have knowledge of her military operations, should yield some results in determining who is part of Loree’s military, since she likes to camouflage her supporters. Once we find the culprits behind her military operations and do memory reads (if we can), then we will execute them publicly on Gabrielle Chana FOX News (00 on cable).

14.0a2 This scanner must also look for shields, because, more than likely, the guilty culprits will be under a shield that protects them from our scanners. If this is the case, then all those under the shield will be brought before Jesus Christ using whatever technology we must use to do so, even if we have to transport a whole city or country under a shield. Jesus himself will then determine who is guilty or innocent. Jesus would know who the Loree McBride Jesuits are and will deal with them accordingly. Our Nanotechnology Research Team has come up with technology that enables us to bring people before Jesus. So, if we cannot overcome their shields, we just take them along with their shields and put them right before Jesus Christ. We may also do this for those who have had their memories removed.

14.1 Satan, using his proxy Loree McBride, has somehow created a devastating bomb that seems to require interaction with other ingredients, like ammonia nitrate, in order to work. This is what happened in Beirut, Lebanon recently. From observing this bomb, it appears Loree McBride Jesuits have come up with a bomb that interacts with whatever is on the ground to explode, thereby, defeating our shields. It appears a person or automaton underneath our shields is able to just drop the bomb onto chemicals with which it interacts, thus causing an explosion UNDERNEATH OUR SHIELDS. The force of the explosion is so strong that even a shield cannot protect the people underneath the shield. It appears to have the force of a nuclear bomb and is perhaps a new form of Jesuit nukkake that is just dropped onto explosive material with which it interacts.

14.2 I would like Bill Nye and our Nanotechnology Research Team, especially those with backgrounds in bomb making or chemistry, to study what caused the explosion in Beirut, Lebanon, perhaps by studying the ingredients in the air around the bomb, so we can determine what chemicals may have been in the bomb and what chemicals the bomb interacted with on the ground to cause the explosion. Once we determine what chemicals were involved, we should ban the use of these chemicals anywhere on earth and set up our scanners to immediately destroy those chemicals anywhere they are detected on earth, so that Satan cannot do a repeat performance of what he did in Lebanon elsewhere on earth.

14.3 Those who make the scanners for our military to detect Loree McBride Jesuits will swear under 666-Computer lie-detection and emotion reads, that to the best of their ability they have created the scanners (as outlined in this Sect. 14 of INTERNATIONAL MILITARY LAW) to honor Gail Chord Schuler, to honor Jesus Christ and to defeat Satan and his Loree McBride Jesuits. If they fail this lie-detection and emotion reads, then the scanner cannot be used, until those who create the scanner pass the lie-detection and emotion reads as outlined in this paragraph.

Silver Skies Research: Millennial King David’s Role

King David’s Role In The Millennium
by Wayne D. Turner
From BibleTrack
Copyright 2004-2009

After carefully studying the Old Testament prophets Jeremiah, Hosea and Ezekiel, one cannot come to any other conclusion than this: King David will reign in Jerusalem under Jesus, the Messiah during the millennium.

Consider the following passages of scripture which address conditions during the millennium:

  • Hosea 3:5
    Afterward shall the children of Israel return, and seek the LORD their God, and David their king; and shall fear the LORD and his goodness in the latter days.
  • Jeremiah 30:9
    But they shall serve the LORD their God, and David their king, whom I will raise up unto them.
  • Ezekiel 34:23-24
    And I will set up one shepherd over them, and he shall feed them, even my servant David; he shall feed them, and he shall be their shepherd. And I the LORD will be their God, and my servant David a prince among them; I the LORD have spoken it.
  • Ezekiel 37:24-25
    And David my servant shall be king over them; and they all shall have one shepherd: they shall also walk in my judgments, and observe my statutes, and do them. And they shall dwell in the land that I have given unto Jacob my servant, wherein your fathers have dwelt; and they shall dwell therein, even they, and their children, and their children’s children for ever: and my servant David shall be their prince for ever.

Most Bible teachers race right past those verses and generally accept them as a reference to Jesus the Messiah, who was born into a Jewish family descended from King David. They assume that those passages are referring to David’s descendant, Jesus the Messiah. However, that cannot be the case when we look more closely at Ezekiel’s prophecies.

Let’s take a look at Ezekiel 44:1-3.

1 Then he brought me back the way of the gate of the outward sanctuary which looketh toward the east; and it was shut.
2 Then said the LORD unto me; This gate shall be shut, it shall not be opened, and no man shall enter in by it; because the LORD, the God of Israel, hath entered in by it, therefore it shall be shut.
3 It is for the prince; the prince, he shall sit in it to eat bread before the LORD; he shall enter by the way of the porch of that gate, and shall go out by the way of the same.

According to Isaiah 9:6-7, the Messiah, Jesus, will be known as “the mighty God” and “the everlasting Father.” That means that Jesus, as the Messiah, is LORD. Yet, in these three verses, the LORD is differentiated from “the prince.” Verse 3 tells us that the prince “shall sit in it to eat bread before the LORD.” So you see, the “prince” and the “LORD” are different here.

In Ezekiel 45:9-25 we have the prince offering sacrifices for himself and the people “to the LORD.” As a matter of fact, Ezekiel 45:22 instructs, “And upon that day shall the prince prepare for himself and for all the people of the land a bullock for a sin offering.” We all know that Jesus, the Messiah, is without sin. This prince, however, is not without sin.

There are some interesting specifications in Ezekiel 46:18, “Moreover the prince shall not take of the people’s inheritance by oppression, to thrust them out of their possession; but he shall give his sons inheritance out of his own possession: that my people be not scattered every man from his possession.” This prince shall have sons. Do you think that’s talking about Jesus, the Messiah? Of course it isn’t.

In Ezekiel 48:22 we are told that this prince shall have a land allotment along with the Tribes of Israel. Of course that’s not a reference to Jesus as the Messiah either. In Ezekiel 45 and 46 we see that this prince will have a unique relationship with regard to the temple where he will be performing some priestly functions (Ezekiel 45:16-17,22 and Ezekiel 46:4, 12).

A careful examination of Jeremiah, Hosea and Ezekiel clearly leads us to the conclusion that, during the millennium, Jesus will be present as the Messiah, while David will be present fulfilling the role of the “prince.” Obviously, he will be resurrected to fulfill this role. Now, that shouldn’t really throw us. Jesus raised Lazarus after he had been dead for four days. Therefore, God is able to raise David to fulfill his millennial purposes if he so desires. And…apparently that’s exactly what he does according to these passages.

Urethra ‘Fo’Shizzle’ McPizzle Murdered Fifty Cent & Sean Connery

October 31, 2020 on Skype:

Gail, 6:53 PM So it appears Sandra (Gail’s sister) murdered Sean Connery. Loree’s bombs are all over the sky tonight, too. Very low lying, dark, penis clouds all over.

Brent, 6:55 PM We thought it was Sandra at first. Actually, our evidence suggests a culprit we have long forgotten about.

Gail, 6:56 PM Oh really? Don’t tell me we have another Antichrist!

Brent, 6:57 PM Well, it’s a lesser Jesuit. I’m having a hard time with Sean’s death, so it’s taking me a moment to get it out. I’ve been so depressed all day.

Gail, 6:58 PM I can imagine. I have sensed your grief and the grief of all the men. The way he died was horrific. It could have easily been one of you.

Brent, 6:59 PM Yes, it could have been. We are all Jesuit targets. Your prayers have been helpful in comforting me today my sweetheart.

Gail, 7:00 PM Who murdered Sean? Camila Alves?

Brent, 7:01 PM Well, when we found his body…I guess I’ll just explain how we found it, and then you’ll understand where we’re going with this in terms of the evidence.

Gail, 7:01 PM How did they get him?

Brent, 7:02 PM Sean was vacationing in the Bahamas. It would appear, someone spiked his drink the night before, so he slept really hard. When he awoke, he was tied to a chair. The chair had a hole cut out of the bottom, so that his rear and genitals were sticking out. It’s a torture technique called “Dutch Scratching”. I’ll see if I can find you a reference for it.

Gail, 7:03 PM Who’s sending me all these yeast bombs?

Brent, 7:04 PM The yeast bombs are still definitely Loree. What we found the most strange is that there were bare footprints on the carpet behind him. It was likely someone else staying in the hotel with him. The footprints were thick and fat, and flat flooted like a black woman’s, and the prints were wet with what appeared to be urine. So, someone with fat, urine soaked feet was standing behind him and whipping his genitals. It didn’t appear the person was trying to kill him, strangely enough. It seems they were using this method to get some kind of information.

Gail, 7:06 PM Who was the interrogator?

Brent, 7:06 PM Anyway, it looks like it didn’t work. We saw the footprints leading out to the hotel swimming pool, and the chair was dragged out there. The interrogator then removed Sean from the chair. They must have had incredible strength, because they lifted him out of it and his legs and arms were still tied up.

Gail, 7:07 PM I wonder if they were trying to figure out how we were beating Loree’s bombs. . .

Brent, 7:08 PM They then put Sean’s lower body into the pool, which was now raw and bloody from the whipping. His genitals were like ground beef at that point. Inside the pool were sharks! It appeared that the interrogator was about to let sharks gnaw on his genitals if he didn’t talk. However, something went wrong… We found a big puddle of urine, with a little blood in it, which indicates the interrogator peed themselves. Then, urine soaked foot prints rushed off to the juice bar, before returning to the pool again for Sean. By the time they got back (presumably for a drink) Sean had been eaten, penis and balls first, by the sharks. We took samples of the urine and determined it belonged to a black woman — we believe it was Urethra McPizzle, the escort that killed our dear friend Hefner!

Gail, 7:11 PM What was SHE doing in the hotel?!

Brent, 7:11 PM We have no clue!

Gail, 7:11 PM Does Sean like autoerotic asphyxiation?

Brent, 7:12 PM Telling by her urine sample, she is sick with a pretty bad infection. This must be why she botched the job. Her task seemed to be to torture Sean for information, not murder. But, she still murdered him. Yeah he did, but we don’t believe he hired escorts to do that. He was in love with you. Another interesting thing is that it looks like before Urethra ran off, she marked his face with her urine like a dog. It’s almost as if to say, “I was here bitches, I’m coming for you”.

Gail, 7:13 PM What information did she want? Can you get a brain read on her?

Brent, 7:13 PM We can’t locate her for a brain read.

Gail, 7:14 PM What kind of infection does she have?

Brent, 7:14 PM A nasty bladder and urinary tract infection.

Gail, 7:14 PM Is it yeast?

Brent, 7:14 PM It’s bacterial. Urethra is a rogue agent and may be acting outside of Loree. Although, she has been paid by Loree before.

Gail, 7:17 PM What a mystery. My guess is Urethra may think we have the cure to her infection?

Brent, 7:18 PM It’s possible. We’re going to investigate and try to track her down.

Gail, 7:18 PM Maybe she wants a way to get Zack Knight’s semen.

Brent, 7:19 PM Meanwhile, everyone down on Earth needs to stay safe. She may be targeting supporters and fans. True. Zack Knight would never give a fat chick his semen though.

November 27, 2020 on Skype:


Brent, 2:46 PM I know it can’t be Black Friday shopping. Our followers are really good about doing their Gail Commandments. Only food and bills.


Gail, 2:47 PM Oh dear. I hope they don’t all have yeast brain! Could it be an influx of Loree McBride Jesuits?


Brent, 2:48 PM Just pull up your boxers and go look.


Gail, 2:49 PM This doesn’t sound good folks. They must all have yeast brain or be Loree McBride Jesuits.


Brent, 2:49 PM Oh dear. I hope it’s not the Hood Mentality taking over the stores on Church of Gail.

Gail, 2:50 PM That’s what I think it is, Brent. Who’s going crazy? Loree’s bombs are terrible.

Terrance Jenkins, 2:50 PM OKAY, I BE HEADED DOWN…

Brent, 2:50 PM Be safe. I hope he’ll be okay. I’ll go check on him in a few minutes if he isn’t back.

Brent, 2:53 PM I wonder what’s taking Terrance so long.

Gail, 2:53 PM They might be lynching him. Where’s Zack Knight?

Brent, 2:55 PM Oh dear! I hope they aren’t lynching him. Now I’m worried. I’d better get down there to check.

Gail, 2:55 PM Brent, you better wear armor!

Zack, 2:55 PM What’s going on?

Gail, 2:55 PM Some sort of protection. I always get suspicious of riots. Riots are always from Satan.

Zack got on.

Brent, 2:56 PM Oh NO! Gail, Zack, you won’t believe what’s happening. It’srbebebrmeowhalwpwww×qwwwwwwwwWwwrrrtttthrhhsala21272mddbxjox0

(November 27, 2020 email from Brent Spiner, ~ 3:18 p.m. Eastern Standard Time) Dearest Gail,

From a blacked out stupor, I awoke to find myself disoriented and unable to move. As my vision returned I was able to scan my body, and see that I was cocooned in rope, from my feet to my chest, like an insect trapped in a spider’s web. Unwilling to scream and draw the attention of whatever predator had put me in this bind, I choked myself back with a gasp.

I felt my heart pounding against the rope as my gaze scanned the room, and to my horror, I was but one of many of our male church members who were now bound in these rope cocoons. Our bodies were laid out in a giant circle on the floor with our feet facing the center. Most of the other men were now waking up just as I was. It was clear they had all taken their turns being knocked unconscious by our yet unknown captor, but were otherwise unharmed. Our lives had been spared, but for what diabolical ends?

That was when a stiletto pump heel planted itself heavily next to my head on the floor, blocking my view of the other men. The foot wearing this stiletto shoe was fat, black, its flesh seeping out over the sides and bubbling through the straps, as if clearly a few sizes too big for this footwear. I caught a glimpse of the brand name, glittering in gold plating along the heel, that read “Gucci”.

I heard the messy sound of thick chewing, and then a single wet piece of fried chicken fell to the floor next to the shoe. The toes in the shoe wiggled and the owner continued on to the center of the circle where I finally beheld the full form of our captor.

It was none other than Urethra “Fo’Shizzle” McPizzle!

Urethra was carrying a bucket of KFC in one arm, feasting upon it greedily. Her big lips puckered out as she chewed rapidly like a rabbit, grease smeared across her mouth. After a wet swallow, she spoke.

“I see you menz have finally woke! Now, I shur you all be wonderin’ why you here…” she paused to take another bite of a fried chicken leg, her eyes fixated on it.

“Now see, I haffa little problem. That little problem…is called Queefetta Fo’Rizzle McPizzle.”

Urethra then turned on an overhead projector behind her, which lit up to show a little baby watching from another room with a big smile on her face.

The little girl was so cute that Urethra’s captive audience, myself included, collectively cooed, “awww”.

Urethra continued, “dis baby you see here don’t have a daddy!”

We all gasped and boo’d with outrage.

“Now, if dis baby don’t got a daddy, I don’t get no child support. Butt evah since I got pragnant, ain’t no black man come within fitty yards of me. Dey go POOF!”

Urethra took another bite of her chicken.

“SO,” she chewed messily, “da only way I’mma find out who my baby daddy is, is by SEARCH ‘N DESTROY! I know you men and your Church of Gail have plenty of resources to find a baby daddy! I want you to FIND HIM and make him PAY. And if you don’t…”

Urethra unzipped her pants and dropped them to her heels.

The whole room gagged at the smell. If I was a bigot, I would think that all African women pretty much smell like that, especially the fat ones. However, being a medical doctor, I knew right away that Urethra had a serious bladder infection.

“Azz you know, I am a trained assassin for the Jesuit Order. My skillz be peein’ on people and drownin’ people in my piss. But boy, you don’t even KNOW what a diet of fried chicken and orange soda can do to a ur-nary ssyssem…you don’t even KNOW…”

Urethra grabbed a fist full of labia and pointed to her gaping pee hole.

“See, I gots me a kidney stone up in here. The size of a .40 callbur bullet. The next time I take a piss in some nigga’s mouth, that thang could fire into the back of his skull and he be DEAD. Now I don’t know when that kidney stone is gonna release, but you better not hope it be one a yall.”

She checked her watch.

“Every hour on the hour, if yall don’t find my baby daddy, I’m gonna piss in the mouth of one man in this circle. He could juss get a mouthful of piss. Or he could get a KIDNEY STONE shot through his BRAIN! They call this game Russian Roulette, don’t they, Vladdy Putin? I’mma play Russian Roulette with ALL OF GAIL’S MEN until yall find my baby daddy and bring him AND his paychecks to me!”

Urethra lumbered over to me like a fat black bear, and then squatted overtop of me. Thinking I was about to get an esophagus full of urine and possibly a kidney stone bullet, my love life with Gail flashed before my eyes. However, Urethra did not pee in my mouth. Instead, she peed on the ropes around my arms, the acid from the urine dissolving the rope and allowing me to free my hands.

“YOU! White man. You round up all the black men in the country you can find, and you tell ’em to come to Church of Gail for a paternity test. Black men ONLY. I ain’t slept with no crackas.”

“I’ll need a way to contact my wife Gail,” I said calmly, still shaken, “she can make a YouTube video. Billions of people around the world watch her videos.”

“Already on it cracka.” Urethra dumped over the KFC bucket, now emptied of fried chicken, onto my chest. At the bottom of the bucket was a miniature laptop.

I write to you now covered in grease, fried chicken bones and crumbs, pleading for all of the black men in the world who think they’ve ever possibly slept with Urethra McPizzle to please come forward and take responsibility for their child.

Your husband,
Brent Spiner

(Email from Brent Spiner on November 27, 2020 ~ 9:15 p.m.) Dearest Gail,

With much thanks to your last video, and the loyal participation of our followers, thousands of black men have lined up at Church of Gail to take paternity tests to determine if they are the father of Urethra’s baby.

To hasten this process, we used Church of Gail technology to invent a scanner that instantly performs DNA reads as soon as each eligible man enters the room. I have also called my old friend, Maury Povich, who has had decades of experience in finding the fathers for illegitimate black babies. As each man enters the room, the DNA scanners compare his genes to little Queefetta McPizzle. The computer then delivers a paper printout of the results, and Maury reads the results out loud for the room.

I lie here, still on my back, as Urethra makes her way around the circle. With her powerful, quaking thunder thighs, she squats over each man, her bladder loaded. At the top of the hour, every hour, she pees in another man’s mouth as promised. So far, none has received the deadly kidney stone bullet, but I fear with every passing tick of the clock that we may be one second closer to losing one of our men.

I pray that it won’t be me.

The doors opened. Another black man stepped through the scanner. The computers whirred. From his chair on the other side of the room, Maury removed the paper printout of the results.

“When it comes to 1 month old Queefetta Fo’Rizzle McPizzle…Jermaine, you are NOT the father!”

The young man, who I presume was the Jermaine in question, hollered with victory and began to dance, as the overhead stereos blared Jermaine’s choice of theme song.

Like clockwork, Urethra lowered her girth and squatted down over Trey Songz, who began crying.

Sweating, straining, Urethra sang to herself under her breath, mocking Trey Songz as she vulgarly parodized one of his own music tracks, “sometimes she call me Trigga cause I make her potty buuu–uuurrnnn. They might think my name is OHH SHHIII!” And like a shower head on full blast, foul smelling urine sprayed into his mouth until he gagged.

Urethra removed herself and moved on to the next man. Trey Songz sobbed quietly, before realizing with relief he had survived. He smiled, enjoying his now rock hard erection as consolation for his near death experience.

Hours went by, and it seemed like the torture was endless. The next victim, Will Smith, took it the worst. Too white to enjoy watersports, he seemed to suffer the most psychologically. I watched in horrified schadenfreude as Urethra peed all the color out of “Big Willy’s” mortified face. As Urethra unmounted his mouth, he only continued to stare wide-eyed at the ceiling, dead inside. I could tell by the look in his eyes that all he could do was keep replaying the scene over and over in his head. Ever since that moment, he has been muttering to himself, over and over, like a broken record, “see, what had happened was…what had happened was…see…see what had happened was…” He still hasn’t stopped.

R Kelly was next. He was the only black man other than Will Smith that seemed particularly disturbed.

“Now, now listen Urethra. This ain’t right. A woman shouldn’t be peein’ on a man…wait until your daughter turns about 14, and I will pee on her myself, like a right man should. I don’t mean you no disrespect Urethra–!” There was no stopping Urethra, who mercilessly lowered herself onto R Kelly’s face while singing Dave Chapelle’s parody of one of R Kelly’s songs. She sang, “‘I’mma give you some poo poooo, I’mma give you some pee peee! Imma give you some doo doo, I’mma give you some wee weee-!” As R Kelly’s mouth was filled with urine. He coughed and sputtered beneath the wet drizzle.

Urethra dismounted, and went to refill her empty tank on another gallon of orange soda.

Maury Povich approached Urethra, putting a gentle hand on her shoulder and speaking in a fatherly tone.

“Urethra…we’ve tested thousands of men. Now, I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I think we’re going about this all the wrong way…your daughter is white, and there is no way the father could be a black man.”

“WHAT?” Urethra yelled haughtily in defiance, “my baby ain’t no white baby!”

“That baby is as white as I am, Urethra.”

Urethra held up a finger, telling off Maury cattily, “my baby hassa FAIR COMPLEXION, jus like her great grandmama’s half-niece. It runs in da family. It runs in da family.”

“Don’t you think we should-” Maury offered gently.

Urethra only continued to yell and caw, becoming so ebonically enraged I couldn’t even understand what she was saying anymore. She flamboyantly wagged her big she-boony arms around with her half-empty gallon of orange soda and ordered Maury to sit back down.

The paternity tests continued.

It didn’t appear as if we were any closer to finding Queefetta’s baby daddy. I’m not one to take facial urination lying down, so I had a secret weapon up my sleeve. Using my laptop I had begun messaging my loyal old pal, Levar Burton. Many years ago my best friend Levar had saved me from the clutches of Loree McBride, and I knew he could save us all now from Urethra.

“Levar!” I typed, “are you there? Where are you?”

“Brent!” He replied, after what seemed like an eternity, “I’m at home in LA. Just checking my stock portfolio and managing my investments. I’ve built up quite the nest egg. What’s going on?”

“Levar, this is an emergency. We’re being held hostage on Church of Gail.”

“Wow Brent, that sounds like a conundrum! What do you need me to do?”

“Don’t you have a few Glocks or something stashed away?”

“A firearm? Gosh no, Brent! I have a home security system and live in a gated community with an HOA and a Neighborhood Watch. Besides, I have a good relationship with local law enforcement if I ever needed help.”

“Levar, this woman is a maniac! You’ll need something!”

“What is she doing, if I may ask?”

I turned my side to the side to see which man in the circle Urethra had made her way up to. She was now pulling a smoking blunt out from between Snoop Dogg’s lips. Snoop, with a doped up smile on his angelically calm face, opened his mouth willingly in zen.

“Levar, she’s…she’s peeing on everyone! Every man here is getting a mouthful of urine! She has a kidney stone the size of a .40 caliber bullet, and when that stone passes, someone isn’t just going to get peed on, they’re going to get shot in the face!”

Snoop Dogg allowed himself a mouthful of urine to be poured from Urethra, an unchanging smile on his face. Once finished Urethra delicately closed his bottom jaw with her fat, colorfully clawed fingers and replaced the blunt.

“Oh no! That’s so disgusting Brent I almost gagged on the French vanilla latte I’m drinking!”

“Well just get over here and knock her out, like you did Loree McBride. She’s going to kill us!”

“Okay Brent, hang tight! I will be there right away!”

I sighed, with both relief and worried impatience. Hour by hour, Urethra had slowly made her way around the circle, closer towards me. Only one man remained in line ahead of me now, and she was already squatting over him.

Fifty Cent, who always requested to be called “Fitty”, stared up into Urethra’s gaping vaginal maw with quelled suspense. Our faces were mere inches from each other, allowing me the unfortunate close-up view of my own impending fate.

The clock was ticking, and Urethra’s bulging black eyes watched every second. Sweat beaded down her taught forehead. Her wet pink tongue slid out like a grub to lick her fat lips, neatly coated in glittery purple lipstick.

The door to the room flew open. I expected it to be none other than the next man arriving to take a paternity test. To my excitement and relief, it was Levar!

“Brent, I came!” Levar announced, breathing heavily and sweating.

“TIME’S UP!” Urethra bellowed as the clock struck the next top of the hour.

I heard the hard, wet sound of urine pattering down from the fleshy black vaginal caverns of Urethra McPizzle.

The urination seemed like it lasted forever. Urethra was peeing, and peeing, and peeing. Then, she began grunting. By the sounds of it I first thought she was going to burp, or fart, but as I watched her eyes widen into saucers, I knew that something was happening inside her. Something was becoming dislodged. Something the size of a .40 caliber bullet.



Everything seemed to trickle down into slow motion as the kidney stone bullet burst from Urethra’s swollen urinary chute, and blew the back of Fitty’s skull. Sweat, saliva, brains, urine, blood and pieces of skull shattered in all directions, onto my own face and into my own screaming mouth.

Fitty’s head fell back, urine leaking from the corners of his lips.

He was dead.

My heart pounding, I knew I had only been one man away from that being me. I made the sign of the cross over my body, and quietly prayed.

May you be with Tupac and Jude Law, Fitty…drinking margaritas on the beach in heaven.

The computer whirred as the scanners automatically scanned Levar. The grinding sounds of the printer was the only noise that filled the now somber room, and the printout was deposited neatly in the tray beside Maury. Maury dutifully retrieved it, and read.

“In regards to 1 month old baby Queefetta…Levar, you ARE the father!”

The entire audience of men in the room erupted with a mixture of cheering and hollering. Uretha “whooped” loudly, and began to twirk. Confetti dropped from the ceiling as the stereos blasted her victory song. She stomped over to Maury, greedily snatching the test results out of his hand as though it were a wad of hundred dollar bills, and proceeded to run around the room, wailing with victory and dancing like a stripper.

“Whaaaa?!” Levar snapped his head around to Maury with shock, nearly falling to his knees.

“How?!” Hugh Jackman exclaimed, lifting his urine soaked head from the floor, “Maury, that baby is white. You said so yourself. How can Levar be the father?”

As the whole situation sunk in, my mind began to race. It was then that it all hit me.

“It’s simple, really…” I explained, “I don’t know why I didn’t think of it before. I suppose because it’s so rare…”

“What? What is rare?” Levar asked.

“Haven’t any of you men studied epigenetics?”

“I’m confused,” Hugh replied.

“Basically when a black man starts acting “too white”, it begins to change his DNA. For example, every time a black man makes a bill payment on time, cashes a check made from honest employment, or spends time with his biological children…it begins to alter the very nature of his chromosomes. Over time, his DNA can become so altered, that his babies will be born white.”

“I see,” Hugh replied, letting it all sink in, “so that’s why black men get all defensive about acting “too white”. It’s because if they do, it would mean racial genocide! All their babies would be born white and the black race would go extinct!”

“Exactly,” I said. I turned my head to Levar, concerned for him, “but Levar…did you sleep with Urethra McPizzle?”

“Gosh, I don’t know Brent…” Levar replied sincerely, scratching his head.

“You don’t know? You wouldn’t remember?”

“Well…” he explained, “every year the local Popeyes has a Black History Month special, 50% off all menu prices. When I drive by I just feel this…this pulling inside me, Brent. The best way I can describe it is like, you know how Galapagos turtles return to the same island every year to mate? No matter where they are, they all get the same urge at the exact same time to return to the exact same island. The turtles don’t know why, or what they’re doing. They just feel compelled. It’s mother nature calling them, deep inside. That’s how I felt Brent. I stopped at the Popeyes earlier this year. I felt like I really needed to go to the restroom and the next thing I know I…I blacked out.”

“You blacked out?”

“Yeah. I just blacked out.”

“Levar, if you had sex with Urethra McPizzle while you were blacking out in the Popeyes bathroom, that means you could have fathered her baby!”

“I’m really a father?” Levar asked, a tiny spark of pride in his voice.

Urethra lurched over. “Don’t be getting no ideas, you cracka ass Oreo muthafucka!”

Levar was undeterred.

“I will gladly help raise our daughter, Urethra. I’m a responsible man and I-“

“HA! I ain’t lettin’ you see yo daughter! If you start bein’ all up in her life and tha courts know dat, I don’t get no child support checks! And dat be a shame too, cause I ain’t expect dis baby daddy to be makin’ millions like you do, shiiiii! I be RICH!”

Levar’s stomach turned as he gazed upon the heaping black Urethra, who began whooping and twerking once more.

“Brent,” Levar bemoaned, unflinching as Urethra bent over in front of him and twerked against his crotch, “this is awful! I’m so ashamed! My daughter! My nest egg! Everything has gone to hell in a handbasket, Brent! What do I do?”

“Run,” I told him.

“Run away? That doesn’t feel right. My daughter-“

“Run,” I repeated, “trust me on this one. Run back home and I’ll be in touch on what you need to do next. Don’t have any contact with Urethra.”

“Okay, I trust you Brent…I don’t run as fast now though, ever since I started making all this money from my stable job. Unless I see a spider in my house or something. Then I just lose it, it’s crazy.”

“That doesn’t matter. Just run as fast as you can. We’ll make this better. I’ll be online later,” I paused, realizing I was so concerned with helping my best friend that I had forgotten about myself, “but first, untie me from this rope please?”

“Sure thing, buddy.”

With great relief, and some residual unease for Levar Burton and profound grief for our dear fellow man Fifty Cent, I am otherwise happy to report that myself and the rest of our men are free from our untanglements, and safe. We will be holding a memorial service for Fitty on the Church of Gail.

I will keep you updated on our friend Levar. With my medical and legal expertise, I am confident that I can keep Levar from unfairly owing Urethra any child support.

Thank you so much for your love and support, my dear. I am so lucky to have such an awesome and beautiful wife.

Your husband,
Brent Spiner

(Email to my men on Nov. 28, 2020) Here is an email I sent 4 months ago where I redefined what is a Loree McBride Jesuit. If this law was enforced, we could have possibly saved both Sean Connery and Fifty Cent, because Urethra would have been executed as a Loree McBride Jesuit before she could carry out her murders. The ONLY THING I ADDED to Sect. 14 was this: “and Loree McBride Jesuits can also be defined as anyone who has willingly and knowingly worked with Loree McBride or the Jesuits in the past, present or future and/or would be willing to kill for money, power or sex (this can be determined by scans).”

Actually, I don’t blame this on you all, but on Donald Trump. After all, he is the President and should have issued an executive order that all of my Conspiracy Law be enforced. Now, that I am the President I will issue that executive order: All of my Conspiracy Law is to be enforced and I task the military with this job. They need to start with the most recent updates to my Conspiracy Law and then work back.

Obviously, any laws that contradict later laws would be modified or annulled to be in conformity to later laws. To honor Rule 13, who will be heading up the military with Sergey Shoygu, here is the symbol for our military forces:

The Final Solution is to execute all Satan worshipers. I have stated this MANY TIMES. Now, that I’m President, this is an EXECUTIVE ORDER and I task our military with the job.

Also, check out this update to my post about 13:

I am hoping we get a lot of Jews in our military. They are the best fighters!